Lost

Life Matters ☘

"How? I can't go under my real name. I am worried my foster family still wants me."

"After fifteen years Maureen, I don't think so." Sam encouraged.

"And it is some charity bullshit, they treat people and don't ask for names." He said like he believed it.

We all knew what such charities did, we were their healthy, helpless organ donors.

"I am fine Jack." This time I put the tone of finality in my words.

"I don't believe you. You have fainted multiple times, abrupt nose bleeds, sunken eyes. You don't look fine." He said through gritted teeth.

"But isn't that the casual look we street people should carry?" I tried to calm the situation down.

"Is everything a joke to you Maureen?" He was angry now.

"Except my life, no,"I answered him somberly.

He ran his hands across his face clearly agitated.

It was not like I hated doctors or needles. It was the idea in my mind that scared me. When I was sick my foster brother kicked me in my stomach and I had a bruise. But I refrained from sharing the pain because if they took me to doctor, I would have to hear about how much money they had to spend on something so insignificant. It's the harsh words later that I couldn't bear.

And even if I had a disease what can I do about it? Or what anyone could do about it? There was no one to grieve my pain, share it or lessen it. If I was dying, then let it be. I wasn't a fan of living anyway.

"What can I do to make you go to a doctor?" Jack pleaded and I felt sorry for him.

"I will go alright if it means so much to you." Least I could do after all he did for me.

He was only three years older than me and Sam but he practically raised both of us, kept us fed, guarded us against the spineless humans and even stole for us.

He sighed, relief evident on his face. He got up and ruffled my straight chocolate brown hair in an affectionate manner before walking off the rising rings of smoke.

"You should look decent Reen when you go there." Sam was already contemplating a hooker's attire.

Trapping a rich man was her ultimate life goal. But this was not a fairy tale and life is a bitch. I didn't say that out loud, I will not be the one to shatter her fantasy which was way better than our reality.

"I have that black coat we stole when you tried seducing a man from the bank." I reminded her and she clapped her hands together thankfully agreeing with me.

The music started blaring loudly as people started getting drunk. These were the reasons we were running short of hideouts. I felt a sharp pain in my head and I looked away from Sam, focusing on my shoes which seemed a blurred vision of torn sneakers caked with dirt.

"Reen?" She said but it felt like a voice from a distant dream.

I wanted to answer but I couldn't. Sam calling her brother was the last thing I remember before the darkness greeted me again like a familiar acquaintance. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

My lids lifted with immense effort but when it did I wished I was back in the darkness. It was a good enough way to hide from my cruelty called life.

"Sasha Toroise?" A man in late thirties with a feared white doctor gown asked.

So he doesn't know my real name. I nodded not sure if I wanted to speak just yet.