The Affair

Chapter 18

Chloe's POV

Crap, no, this can't be, I can't be pregnant, not now, damnit, WHY?!

I must've been starting to panic visually too because Ryan quickly moved over next to me and pulled me into his arms

"It's okay, shhh" he soothed me gently but nothing he could say would help

"I can't, I just can't be pregnant again, I can't do it, I won't!" I exclaimed, quickly becoming hysterical

It was awful the first time, I love Archie to bits, he's my world, but pregnancy was one of the worst times of my life, I mean, I constantly felt like crap and not in the usual ways, I was literally feeling like I was going to throw up every second of every day, I was dizzy a lot, I was stuck in bed half the time because I was too weak and tired just to stand, that wasn't even late in the pregnancy

I was a mess

I can't handle that again, especially not now I know the truth, I can't have another baby with a man who cheats on my because I won't screw him when I'm pregnant

"I can't handle it a second time" I told Ryan with tears in my eyes

Ryan's POV

She was shaking, literally shaking like crazy, I held her tightly to try and steady her but it wasn't working very well and then she just broke down

It hurt, seeing her this broken hurt me, there was nothing I could do or say to fix this

But it keeps ruining through my head, who's the father?

I know that most likely it's Thomas, there's probably no chance it's me

"Chloe honey when did you start feeling weird?" I ask her gently

She stops dead then

She must be thinking quite hard but I don't think my question is the only thing she's thinking about

"Maybe a few weeks after you left, not even that I don't think" she told me, doing the math I'm completely unsure

"Could it be possible that..." I trailed of, not wanting to say it for fear it's completely impossible, I helped my stepmom quite a bit when she was pregnant with Hannah because my dad didn't seem to give too much of a crap but I don't remember enough to know

"You're the dad?" She finishes my question and clearly ponders it for a second before turning to me and nodding "Yeah, I think you could be" she whispers eventually

Woah, that's huge, how am I supposed to take that in?

"I need to take a test, I have to be sure, if there's any possibility I'm not....I need that" she spoke hurriedly, clearly trying to avoid thinking about the severity of her words

I know if she is pregnant she'll keep the baby and would go through hell for that child but I can understand why she'd rather not be pregnant

But like, it could actually be mine? If she is I mean....but let's be honest, it sounds a hell of a lot like she is

* * *

Chloe's POV

I quickly went out to the store a few blocks away, got a pregnancy test and a few judgey stares just for fun

As soon as I got back I went and took the test while Ryan waited outside, I imagine he's probably as anxious as I am, maybe even more so

I have no idea who the father would be

As soon as I'm done and head out and start pacing the length of the room while I wait for the result to come back

Two whole minutes, that's seriously too long, I cannot wait that long, and therefore I began panicking

"Chlo babe, come sit here with me and calm down" he tells me but it barely registers for a good few moments

When it finally processes I do what he said and sit down with him, but having some space this time, I can't be all cuddled up right now, I don't know why, I just can't do it

And then it was time to check the test

"You want me to do it?" Ryan offers and I nod, I can't do it myself, dear god I'm so pathetic

I watched him flip it over and saw his face, I saw a little smile cross his face for a moment before he hurriedly changed it

That makes me feel so guilty for multiple reasons, I've just said I don't want to be pregnant but I've got a child, I have a son, Ryan has Hannah, but she's not his daughter, her takes care of her and behaves like her father but he still doesn't have that bond, he hasn't gotten the chance to be a real father

And then there's the fact that if I am pregnant then there's a good chance the baby isn't his, I know he wouldn't leave me just because I was pregnant with Thomas' child rather than his but that would surely hurt him, I know he'd never hold it against the child but it would surely be rather unpleasant for him

I say if but that quick flash of a smile across Ryan's face a minute ago gives me the answer without even looking at the test

"Congratulations" Ryan whispers to me carefully, not sure about how I was gonna react, to be honest, neither was I

So that's it, I'm having another baby

But the big question is, who's the father?

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DUN DUN DUNNNNN! So I think it's safe to say everyone wants Ryan to be the father but who do you think it is, Ryan or Thomas? Xoxo