Raven

"Anak, siya ang surpresa namin sa 'yo. We named him Raven, and he's your brother," Dad said with a wide smile plastered on his face. My mom was also showing the same emotion. And when my eyes finally darted on him, I felt like dying in an instant. Hindi ko magawang gayahin ang ngiting ipinakikita nila, lalo na ng batang lalaking kahit nakayuko ay hindi nakatakas mula sa aking paningin ang ngiting sumisilay sa kanyang labi. And no, it wasn't a smile that says "Hey your parents are also mine now! So are your riches!". It's a smile that showed how happy he was for having found a new family. It was clear that it was a genuine smile.

Pero hindi. Sila lang ang masaya. Ako? Hindi.

Agad akong tumalikod at tumakbo patungo sa kwarto ko. I slammed shut the door of my room. I jumped to my bed and buried my face on my pillows as I let myself weep.

Indeed, it was a surprise. I'd always loved surprises pero tingin ko dahil sa pangyayaring 'yon ay hindi ko na ginusto pang masurpresa kahit kailan.

My mom wasn't able to bear a child anymore because she was already in her menopausal stage that time. Pagkatapos akong maipanganak, ang sabi nila ay nagpasya muna silang mahintay ng dalawang taon bago ako sundan. At nang mabuntis si Mama ay hindi nabuo ang bata dahil mayro'n pala siyang hypothyroidism. They tried again, but unfortunately for them, they failed.

Until such time that she wasn't capable of giving birth any longer. No'ng mga nakaraang linggo ay nagbibigay na pala sila ng hint na mag-aampon sila ng batang lalaki. Bakit ngayon ko lang napagtanto? I could have prevented them from doing so.

Okay lang naman sa akin ang magkaroon ng kapatid. But I never wished for it to come from the orphanage for I grew up believing that everyone would like to be showered by our riches even if they did not have the right to in the first place. I wanted to share everything with my real blood.

But that moment, I started doubting myself if I really wanted to. Dahil kahit na walang ibang ipinakita ang batang 'yon kundi kasiyahan dahil sa wakas ay may pamilya na siya, ay hindi ko pa rin magawang matuwa.

Siguro nga ayaw ko naman talaga ng kapatid. Siguro nga pinaniwala ko lang ang sarili kong okay lang basta kadugo ko.

I was eight years old that time. And he was five.

I was the only child until he came into our lives.

And I hated him for that.