A Face in the Crowd

The Secret's Out

She knew him, she knew him like a book and he loved her. He loved her so much, but he couldn't tell her. Every day he wanted to tell her more and more but he couldn't because the day that he said it out loud would be the day that Red John would come and take her. He would come and take her and kill her and that last piece of sanity that he had left would break and he would never be able to pick up the pieces again. She was his lifeline, and he knew that she knew it and it killed him every day that he could reciprocate the love that she gave him.

He looked at his phone and noticed that he had another call from Kristina. Two actually and it looked like she had left a well thought message. He would listen to it later, right now there was a crime to investigate. He couldn't believe that he was actually a little excited.

*AC*

Teresa Lisbon wanted to go home. She had never come to a crime scene and regretted it more than what was right before her eyes right now. She needed to get out of there, and she needed to get out of there now. She also needed to get out of there before a certain someone woke up and decided to go on a wander. She couldn't believe this, and she knew that she would never be able to forget it for a long time. She was on her way back up the hill and she heard her favorite consultant arguing with his favorite ME Brett Partridge. She froze. In her life a moment she didn't need to freeze and she was frozen in place. This was not going to be good, not good at all.

He knew that word had gotten around about what had happened to him, and right now he had never been so happy not to recognize people because they all were giving him the weirdest looks. Well that's all accept Partridge, it appeared that weasel was a weasel no matter the face. His brain just had decided to cook up an even more weasel face for him. There was something off about him though, he wasn't as talkative as normal, and even when he had tried to get under his skin, he had grown quiet. The whole scene had grown quiet. Oh well time to show them I still got it.

The first thing he noticed was that he was wrong they weren't in a parking lot they were in a landfill. This was a body dump, and this poor woman had suffered. She had cuts all over her face. She had been wearing a light blue dress, but it was not drenched with blood. When he looked at her nails they were clearly some skin under them, she had fought and she had fought hard. The madman had showed her no mercy. Her eyes were open and they called out to him for a reason, he didn't know why. She wore a black chord around her neck and on the end of it was a paper…

FLASHBACK

Where are we going? I just thought we'd have a little picnic in the park. Get you away from all of this." She told him as she gesture to a board that sat in the corner with every Red John clipping he had collected since he began working with the CBI.

"How did you know I was up here?" he asked but he already knew.

"Teresa thought you needed a distraction, that a case this morning reminded you of your wife. I'm so sorry Patrick. You know if you want I could try and contact her for you." She told him sincerely.

"What do you have there?" he asked pulling the chord from around her neck.

She knew that it was his tactic to change the subject, but she would let it go for now. She couldn't stop the blush when she noticed that he had found her out.

"Are you wearing the crane around your neck?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes, it's the first thing you ever gave me. I watched you do it and I still don't know how. It's so beautiful, I want to keep it with me every day to remind me of that day. So are you going to let me distract you for a while? I brought sandwiches." She smiled dangling the basket before him so he could also catch the aroma of what had to be homemade blueberry muffins.

"I could eat." He smiled leading the way from his hideout at the CBI.

He wasn't happy that Teresa had shared with her his whereabouts. He only liked the fact that she knew where to find him when he slipped off to think. He had started seeing Kristina after a conversation with Lisbon. She had told him to try seeing someone that it wouldn't be disrespectful. He didn't want Lisbon to be put in danger, and they were policies about office romances, and he sure didn't want to be another Rigsby and Van Pelt. Kristina was nice and she was an enigma that he indeed wanted to figure out. She helped past the times, and with her the days were so dark.

Now….

Lisbon didn't know what did it but she realized the very moment that it happened. He stopped analyzing the body, and just started looking at it. No one around could tell the difference. No one knew him the way that she did and she saw it, recognition. She knew that he wasn't cured of this affliction that he had, but something about her had triggered in his brain that it was Kristina. Jane had always been closed off, unemotional, he acted as if nothing affected him. She knew that it had to be because of what he had seen in that room that night. He had told her what happened and how he had tried to hurt himself and he ended up in a psych ward, and that Sophie Miller had helped him find his way through the darkness. She didn't know what to expect, but it sure as hell was not what happened next.

"Kristina." He gasped.

Then it was like things that he hadn't noticed came into focus. All of her fingernails were the same color, accept the pinky. The pinky was the color of the previous day. That blue dress that looked unfamiliar at first he knew now it was the one that her son had got her for Mother's Day two years ago. Yes, Kristina had a twelve year old son that lived with her ex-husband in Idaho. Someone was going to have to tell that little boy that his mother was gone. Her husband would be devastated. He had met him recently and it was so clear that he still loved her, and he didn't approve of their relationship. His brain was making so many connections, too many connections and his head begin to pound. He felt sick, he was going to vomit, and totally lose it in front of everyone.

"Jane?" he heard Lisbon call out to him.

It was too much, she would be next. He had done this because Kristina was in his life. The bomb was for him, but this was for her. This was for surviving, and for feeling any kind of happiness. He would never feel happy again. He had to get away. He got up quickly to step away from the body, to leave and shatter away from prying eyes, but then he noticed his hands. He had her blood on his hands, and that piece of sanity that he had been clinging to, well it picked that moment to shatter.

It took Lisbon, Rigsby, and Cho to pull Jane away from the body of Kristina. No one knew how to react to a total emotional Jane. He was crying, but not gentle and silent tears but heart wrenching, body shaking, mind destroying sobs. No one could do anything about, but everyone wanted it to stop.

"It's okay Jane. We'll get this guy. I'm so sorry. I didn't know you felt so deeply for her." Teresa told him as he sobbed on her shoulder.

It felt good o be comforted by her. She smelt of Cinnamon and apples, and just everything that he loved about her. He felt safe, and he knew that it was wrong.

"Get the hell away from me." He shouted rising to his feet.

"Jane I just want you to know that I'm here for you, I'm so sorry." She tried for comfort again.

"I have to get out of here. I just need time to think."

"Well come back to the station with us. I know that it might be hard to look at photos and work this case, but come on we can get this guy and make him pay."

"No! I'm going to leave. Everyone I touch get hurt in the end. Charlotte, Angela, and now Kristina. If he figures out how much I love you then you'll be next."

He pushed her off and walked away. She knew she should be trying to catch him, but everything had stopped. She couldn't breathe. Patrick Jane had just told her he loved her, and what made matters worse was he told her in front of everyone else.

A/N: Well here's the next chapter. I think I went to much with this chapter. I was going for longer and then I was trying to be I don't know what. I liked it. Hope you do to. I'll update soon. Hey out of my other stories, which one would you like me to update?