Things Will Get Better, Always

Problems

At first things were great, I had just switched schools and sure it took some getting used to but I made due. What the hell I'm not writing to a diary but I'm gonna keep writing it like this anyway. I ended up finding a friend. His name was Jay, he was really into video games just like I was. He was a great friend. He knew I was kinda desperate for other people to talk to since we both knew we wouldn't have everything in common. He thought I might like some of his other friends. So he introduced me to them at lunch one day and it ended up being that I was one of the main people in the friend group. For some reason everyone in the group liked to call the group the squad so I was part of the squad.

Jay's friends then became my best friends. I ended up being introduced to the entire group including the original member Melissa. Even though Melissa was her actual name we preferred to call her something different. Something that almost no one else would understand. We preferred to call Melissa, Jebus. Jebus's full nickname though was Misled Jebus Crust. People understood the kind of people our group was. We were the social outcasts. Not the popular kids with a thousand followers. We weren't the ones who had no friends. We were the ones who knew the problems in life. Or at least we thought it wasn't going to be bad. Until we found out. Until the moment our friend did something I could never forgive. Something I never could forget about Kat.

At this time we were still in middle school early to mid seventh grade. It was PE where I had the class with three members of the group. Kat, Morgan, and Neon. There was certain sections of the group. The group was classified into different parts. The main five, the secondary friends and the outcasts. I was in the middle of two of these groups. I was part of the main five while still being part of the social outcasts. Two of my friends in PE were the social outcasts. I felt most comfortable when I was around them. Morgan and Neon were the people I felt most comfortable with. Kat on the other hand was one of the main five along with me. We were great friends we hung out after school a lot until the fateful day when Kat told me something. Something I still haven't forgotten about till this day.

That day in PE Kat told me. Kat asked us a question that I felt was very obvious the answer to. She asked us if any of us had smoked, had alcohol, or has done drugs. We knew the answers to all of these questions. We have had a little sip of alcohol before but we have never done the others. Then she admitted. Kat had done all of them. Kat had become an impure soul. This was something we tried to fix. One night on a weekend after my parents had left the house to go have dinner with a friend we confronted Kat. We told Kat we care, we told Kat that we didn't want her to hurt herself or anyone else. That's after I found out the other things. Morgan and Kat had dated earlier in the year. Kat had told Morgan many things that could get Kat in jail. Kat had already lost her virginity... she said the only reason she did it was because the guy was her neighbor. It was stupid I didn't even hear about that from Kat. I heard it from my now boyfriend Morgan. We decided to walk to the library after school and talked for about two hours. We were both mad at Kat for doing all of these things. So we devised a plan. That night we told two of our other friends the things Kat had done so we confronted Kat. We knew Kat would most likely hate us afterwards but Morgan and I were prepared to take that risk. The others were not ready for that risk. It definitely did affect our friendship with Kat. Jebus and her twin Eren knew that Morgan and I were ready to change our friendship. It seemed Kat was going insane on the call. Kat was stabbing her bed repeatedly to try and keep herself from hurting herself. At the time Morgan and I cared a lot about Kat even with all the things she had done. Then a war started I tried to talk to Kat telling her that Morgan prefers he him pronouns not she her. Oh I forgot to mention that Morgan is agender. That was the start of our fights. Simple arguments over text but were dealing with big subjects. Like sexuality, gender identity. We argued about them. We also talked about depression and other sad but true things. Then after we confronted Kat I realized that Morgan was in my Spanish and PE classes. It was great when I got to hang out with him. I ended up liking him, not in a friend way. I meant that I loved Morgan and I still do at the moment of writing this. So after months of Kat and I fighting it was now January. In my terms January was the best month of 2017 so far. The reason is because on the twentieth of January I told Morgan I liked him. I was prepared to get rejected, hell I was expecting to. Then he said something I still don't believe. He said that he liked me too. So very awkwardly we started dating. Then we hung out more and more, it just kinda happened. We went on our first date, we went to see a movie at University 16 cinemas. The movie we saw was Rogue One, an installment in the series Star Wars. That was the second time we held hands. It was also the first time we hugged, the first time he put his head on my shoulder, and also our first movie together. We hung out at my house a few more times after that. Then on a Friday I saw a movie with Morgan it was the first horror movie we saw together. The movie was the rings. This story is moving very quickly but here we go onto the next part. The next Friday after that we both agreed that we were okay with us kissing. So we started off with kissing on the cheek because Morgan was extremely nervous for no reason. I was able to calm Morgan then it happened. Our lips touched and that was our first kiss. The next day we went to the public library after school ended. That day we kissed once until we got to my house. We hung out and talked at my house once we got there. It was good I felt closer to Morgan after that day. That day I realized how much I loved him. Morgan turned into my source of happiness. I missed him so much after he left when we hung out. Recently though we almost got into an argument. It was elevating kinda quickly but it was over the most petty and stupid thing. It was an argument over Morgan getting me something. Morgan didn't have to get me anything and I kept telling him that until we got stopped talking for a bit. I realized the fact that it was stupid shit we were arguing over. It ended up being fine but we acted a little differently than we normally do for a while. We missed each other that night so we decided to Skype, then something happened. Morgan started feeling a sharp pain in his lungs. It kept going for over an hour and I couldn't do anything. I felt like I was kind of useless because I couldn't do anything to help him. It ended up stopping. Earlier that week Kat sent me a video, a video that made me worry. It was a video of her shooting a 40 cal assault rifle. I can't trust Kat with a knife so why would I trust Kat with a gun? I don't, I try not to annoy Kat out of the fear that Kat might do something.