i look down onto the city, the cold breeze blows my bright blue hair into my eyes. i splutter trying to get the strands out of my face.
he chuckles and reaches over to me to tie it up out of my face, he could see that i was nervous and was simply just doing the best he could to help.
'it's so nice up here at this kind of night, i wish i showed you this place earlier,' he spoke so gently with his deep voice, 'why are you still so nervous darling, you've known about his for so long i thought you would be over nerves.'
he laughs at me, i'm infuriated. this wasn't my choice, ever since we met nothing has been my choice.
i ignore him showing him that i do not care what he says and that he should just leave me alone.
he stares at me not taking the hints that i was generously giving to him. he stares right through me, knowing my thoughts and my emotions, i hate the way he does this too me. i hate everything about him, well that is what i like to tell myself.
the truth is i no longer know my own emotions or how i feel about anything.
i concentrate my mind back onto the wind, watching the teenagers laughing on the sidewalk so many story's below us, i see some birds fighting over a sandwich that the old man drop with pity for the skeleton like crows.
the married couple walking past after a romantic dinner saddens me as i come to the realisations that i will never experience a situation like that and i wished upon everything i could think of hoping that maybe, just maybe i will get to experience it.
if only trying and praying ever got me anywhere.
he was becoming increasingly impatient as the minutes pass, i could tell by the ways he played with his fingers and the way he sighed to make sure i knew of is presence still.
i could think of nothing worse than to what was going to happen in my future, the plans that were made for me would scare anyone who would ever hear them.
i look over the rooftop, the troughs filled with flowers, herbs and succulents were truely beautiful combined with the rustic furniture. it even had a hammock in the corner, the perfect place for someone to sit for hours with their nose buried in a book.
the cool breeze makes me shudder as i think of this, i don't remember the last time i felt relaxation or trust in anybody, i certainly did not trust him in anyway.
i think of my greatest memories and a slight smile creeps up onto my face, he looks up and notices this, i quickly became empty from emotion again, he couldn't think that i ever felt happy in his care. that would give him a joy he never deserves.
he stands up and shouts 'i'm sick of waiting for you,' he startled me with the sudden burst of noise, he calms himself down and goes to speak again.
'you ready?'
