Too much too young

9

I was back stage with the band, I wanted to see Johnny before he went on. There would be no opportunity after as the band had to leave immediately to get to the next stadium ready for Sunday's show.

Johnnys bare arms were wrapped around my leather clad waist, he was refusing to let me go. It occurred to me that Johnny needed me just as much as I needed him. We had been there for each other and mended each other's broken hearts.

"I don't want to leave" Johnny said into my neck. I didn't want him to leave but we had no choice. If I had been with him when the tour was originally booked I would have kept my schedule clear so I could go with him.

"Johnny you need to get on stage now" dave screamed , the bands manager was getting impatient. The show was 10 minutes late already so I couldn't blame him for being annoyed.

"Jonathon Baxter let me go, your fans are waiting for you" I said in my sternest voice. My lip quivered betraying me. I wanted to look strong but I was crumbling, I knew I wouldn't see him for so long and it was killing me.

Johnny took my face in his hands and kissed me like it would be our last.

"Only my mothers allowed to full name me" he whispered as he left. I held his hand until his fingers slipped away, it was hard to let him go.

I could feel the loss of his presence as soon as he left, it was embarrassing that I was so dependant on him.

I returned to my seat in the private box where Claire and Will were sitting with some of johnnys friends. I was lucky that they were with me, I wouldn't be going home alone. 

"There just starting " Will shouted as he jumped from his seat. It was amazing how buzzed he was. He had seen the band practicing the day before and had hardly been able to sit still.

The arena was so alive, the screams when the band got on the stage were deafening. The spotlight his Johnny as the mists started. I felt myself focusing on him, taking in every part of him.

Johnny was singing and I was lost in his angelic voice. He gave me goosebumps , every word was like a reward. I loved watching him perform he was so passionate, I had only even seen him like that when he was making love to me.

"He's amazing" Claire shouted over the music.

He really was, no one knew exactly how amazing. He had changed my life, he pulled me from the ash of my ruined relationship and had shown me I could be happy. I owed him every bit of my happiness.

The show was over too soon, I found myself tearing up as Johnny left the stage for the final time. I just wished I was able to join him. I doubted I would be able to visit him for more than two days with Work and his mothers impending move. I had arranged for the house to be fully emptied of my personal belongings when she strived to move in a few weeks.

Johnny had already bought a car for her to use when she arrived. The thought of his mother living here permanently made him happy, his happiness rubbed off on me. It would be a big change for her but I would be there to help.

"Lets go to a bar" I called as we gathered our things and prepared to leave the guest box.

Before anyone could reply the doors opened and an out of breath Johnny came in the room.

He took my face in his hands and kissed me, I melted into him. No one else existed in that moment. I didn't care that he was sweating all over me, I just didn't notice.

"I love you baby, I'll be home soon. Look after the pets" he called as he left.

I cried all the way to the nightclub , I felt fulfilled when I was with Johnny. I was worried the empty feeling I felt when Donnie left me would return. Johnny didn't give it chance, he sent me messages and photos constantly it was like I was on tour with him.

J: miss you already. Don't get too drunk x

E: I miss you , you need to take your own adice

J: I wish your smart mouth was on me now, that kiss made me horny

E: your always horny, have you considered the possibility that you may be a sex addict

J: sex addicts would fuck anything that moved, would a sex addict go 2 months without. The only thing I'm addicted to is you.

E: you know how to make a girl blush

J: you will be blushing when your riding my cock

E: omg you bad man, I just spat my wine all over lol

J: you never spit when your with me, spitting is a dirty habit

E: your my dirty habit.

J: god you drive me crazy. Come fuck me

E: Believe me I would if I could, I'm getting wet just thinking of you

J; put two fingers in, pretend it's me

E; I can't I'm in the club, phone sex later?

J: bet your life on it. Have a good night, call me when your home.

E: love you

J: love you too baby

I held my phone to my heart, I wanted to enjoy myself with my friends but I knew the next two months without Johnny would be torture. I tucked my phone away and put all my effort into enjoying my night, the music was loud so I danced along to the rhythm.

I kept glancing at Will and Claire, they seemed like they were enjoying it. I was more than a little jealous when I saw them kissing.

I was dancing like no one was watching when I felt big hands on my waist. I turned and saw my ex husbands face glaring at me. I knew I wasn't drunk enough to be imagining it.

" can we go outside and talk" he shouted over the music. I must have been more drunk than I realised because against my better judgement I agreed. Johnny had insisted that his bodyguard guy stay with me while he was gone. I tapped guy descreetly as we passed motioning for him to follow. I hoped guy wouldn't make it too obvious that he was with me, I wanted to hear what Donnie had to say when he thought no one else was listening. It was important to me that Johnny know what was going on and I knew guy would keep him informed.

It was getting cool outside, Donnie offered me his jacket but I declined.

"Why are you in vegas" I asked, I was surprised that I was even speaking to him. I swore I whole never give him the time of day but there was something in his eyes that reminded me of the man he use to be.

"Straight to the point, I always loved that about you. I needed to make things right with you"

"There is no making things right, I've moved on I'm happy. You being here only fucks me off" I snapped. I should have known he had come to make trouble.

"I didn't come because I expected to win you back. I know you have moved on and I accept it. I'm sorry for what I did, I was out of order"

"So what are you doing here"

"I want us to be friends, you were a big part of my life and I miss you. I don't want for us to never speak again. I know you won't give me a chance with your heart again but I hope you will give me your friendship, I'm lost without it"