Morgan's POV
I sit on the most uncomfortable chair in the hospital waiting room. My breathing is shallow and rapid. My head in my hands with tears running freely down my face. Nothing could be worse than what I am going through right now; waiting to find out how long my mother has to survive. Cancer. Breast cancer is what Caroline is fighting. My mum shouldn't have to go through something so cruel and painful. I know I shouldn't, but I just can't help but think of the worst. How long could she have to live? A week? A month? I don't know, but it scares me. She doesn't deserve this. She has done so much to make my family's lives the best they can be. She loves us, cared for us, supported us and is the best mother I ever had. She can't leave me.
"Ms Conner?" I was interrupted from my thoughts by the doctor standing directly ahead of me, wearing a green two-piece uniform with a stethoscope around his neck.
"Yes, Dr Blakely?" I look up from the floor, tears still running. I am surprised that I still have tears left, after 2 hours, crying, waiting for the test results.
"I have some bad news. Mrs Connor... She...." I can tell he is struggling to break the news. I just need to know. "Mrs Connor has gone through a series of tests and the results are worse than we expected."
"Worse?"
"Your mother... She has two days left to live. The Tumor has spread to her heart and is applying pressure. I am so sorry. We can't do anything to save her. Would you like to visit her?" My body is completely numb as Dr Blakely breaks the news.
But do I actually want to visit her? I don't know if I could stand the pain of seeing her like this. Mum would want me to. I need to see her for the last time.
"Yes," I answer blandly.
Then Dr Blakely walks away as he expects me to follow him down the sickening 'corridor of doom'. I hesitantly rise from my uncomfortable chair and pad along the corridor until I arrive at a door that says 'Ward 376'. This is it. This is one of the last times I am going to see my mother. I don't want to live right now. Not only is my mum going through pain, but I am too. Knowing that time is nearly up.
I stand in front of the door, trying to keep myself composed, for my mother's sake. 'Deep breath, in, and out', says my conscience. I put one hand on the door handle, push, and open the door. I just stand in my place, looking out through the window straight ahead of me. I am fully aware that Dr Blakely is watching me but I don't give him any attention going through a time like this, I'm sure he understands. I take one step into the room my mother is suffering in. The door is blocking my view and I am glad for that, I don't think I can stand to look at her when she is in so much pain. But I have to. Right now, nothing is going through my brain. I am completely blank and numb. I have to get this over and done with. I know this is selfish but I just want to run away and never see Caroline again. 'COME ON!!!!!!!', my conscience is getting very angry. Ok, let's go. My legs carry me seven steps to mum's bed and stop. My vision has gone blurry as I take in what is in front of my eyes. There, I see my mother lying lifeless with cords and tubes stuck in her arms and face. She is extremely pale, her skin nearly matching the colour of the walls around us. Her eyes are open but she hasn't acknowledged me yet. Tears I hadn't realised were being released were dripping off my nose and chin. This is torture. Then Caroline turns to face me, her eyes as dull has her skin. The surgical gown my mother is wearing makes her look like she is in an asylum. This is probably the scariest and saddest moments of my life. Knowing that my own mother is going through so much pain and other people have to go through things that are 20 times worse than this.
"Morgan," mum's voice is weak and raspy as she is struggling to speak. Just hearing how pained she is, makes me break down more. "You need to listen to me as these are my last days left," 'like I need another reminder' I am really getting pissed off with my conscience right now. "I need you to take care of my business. I have put you and Dylan in my will for everything that I own. I need you to take care of your baby brother. I need you to love him and cherish him. Your brother needs you."
"I will mum, I promise," I choke.
"I am in so much pain right now and I think it is best to let me go now. It will just cause you, Dylan and I more pain. Please." It feels like the wind has just been knocked right out of me. Did she really just say that?
"No mum, I can't," my tears are getting heavier and are now leaving a massive puddle on the bed sheets.
"You have to. Do you want me to go through any more pain?"
"No mum, you know I don't but I can't lose you. Not after dad. I won't have anyone to hold me when I am sad. I won't have anyone to give me advice for when times are tough. I won't have anyone else to love apart from Dylan." I have to pause to actually breathe in between my gasps and sobs from my heartbreak.
"I love you Morgan, you know I do. Dylan will always be there for you, You must be there for him too. It will be tough being a 17-year-old boy with no parents. I know you will find the perfect man that will love you for who you are and you will live a happy life without me."
"No mum, I can't let you go. You can't leave me. I won't let you." Why does God have to do this to our family? First, losing dad in a car accident and now losing my mum from cancer. Why? I am about to pass out from all the crying I have been doing and I feel so light headed.
"Please Morgan, I need you to do this. This is too much pain for me. Please, you will be better off without me. Please, let me go."
"I wish Dylan was here, why did he have to be in America?"
"I'm sure if he had a choice he would have come," mum's voice is now a little bit shaky. How can she go this long without breaking down? I knew my mother was strong. "The army is a strict place. Tell Dylan I love him and I am sorry. You have to let me go."
"I love you mum. I am so proud of what you have done to help our family during our lives and I am so happy you lived the fullest life there can be. I know you had some tough times but there were more happy and positive ones. Goodbye mum, I love you and will never forget you. Thank you for everything," my voice is barely above a whisper. I kiss my mother's forehead and say 'goodbye' one last time. Then I had to do what I had to do, I had to pull the plug.
