If I go

Chapter 1

You would think a person living for so long would get used to this stuff you know...get past it...brush it off..pretend like it's not there...but...you always know it's there. You always know or notices the one thing you hate or despise. It doesn't matter if it's something about a person or a thing or...
Yourself....
A loud clang interrupted my thoughts. I look up from my notebook holding only one or two years of my life problems and thoughts. Still tapping my pen on the brim of the book. A voice echoed through the empty halls of my new house. Closing the book I tucking it under my pillow so that know body would find it. I adjusted my covers to make it look like nothing happened or was happening.
"Everything ok?"
I yelled. I cleared my throat as I headed downstairs to see what the problem was.
"Don't come any closer!"
My moms voice boomed throughout the bottom of the stair case. She was standing in a chair with a big pot in one of her hands hold it like a shield. A laugh escaped me but I couldn't hold it in.
"What are you doing?" I giggle again walking down one more step. My mom look at me with her eye filled with love.
"I haven't heard that laugh in awhile." She smile and began to step off the chair. Her arms opened wide about to swallow me with a hug when a mouse scurried from under the chair. She drop the pot and screamed as she jumped back onto the chair. My eyes wide open and hands covering my mouth I burst out laughing.
"Oh my god Mom. That was hilarious!" I put my hands in my knee and almost fall down the stairs from laughing. My moms face, red from the surprising intruder. She puts a hand on her chest breathing heavily.
"Holy crap. I don't care how old and dusty this house is, but out of all the thing we had I to have here is mice!"
She steps off the chair cautiously and comes to hug me. I hug her back loving the warmth of her making me feel more at home. She squeezed me tight.
"Ok ok mom I love you and all but I'm not a stress ball." We both laugh and smile like we haven't seen each other in years.
"Oh! I forgot to tell you something!" She runs around the kitchen trying to doge boxes looking for something. I raised and eyebrow crossing my arms and a smirk on my face.
"What are you looking for? A book, paper?" She come up from under the table.
"Aha! Here it is. How did you get down there?" She brushes herself off hold a crumbles yellow piece of paper in her hand. She hold it out to me.
"What is this?" I took it from her hand and inspected the paper. Is had a phone number on it.
"What do I do with this? Also who's is this?" I look at the digits on the paper as if they were some type of code.
"Well, while I was taking a stroll around the new neighborhood and I met our new neighbor Diana. She is really nice by the way." I grip the paper tightly and look back up at her.
"So-" she cuts me off
"So while I was strolling through I met all the parents on the block and I met another mom, her name is Beth. Well beth has a son and you two re going to go to the same school. Anyways I thought you two could go meet up at the new ice cream shop down at the end of the block."
"Mom. I don't even know this guys name!" I get defensive. My mom put one hand on her hip and shifted all her weight to one side of her leg.
"Give him a chance! I know you don't like suppresses like this but I thought having at least one friend would be nice."
She has her arms crossed now to.
"I can make my own friends mom!" Her eyes opened wide as if I just cursed her with an evil spell.
"Well...to bad you guys are meeting at the ice cream place in ten minutes!" She made an evil laugh.
I was I awe. I didn't even know the guy, let alone what his name was. Also I look horrible! I mean I don't like him but I'm pretty sure sweat pants and a baggy T-shirt isn't the best first impression.
"If I have to friends and turn emo I'm warning you know..this is why!" She laughs at me and I head upstairs. I thought about what to wear... I wonder if he is cute? Should I dress cute? I mean if I'm cute and he is cute...
A beep came from outside. I look out my window seeing my brother walk into the house. With his girlfriend trailing behind him. I groan not having the energy to put up with her. Her long blonde hair and millions of bracelets on her rist jingling as she walked in. I flop onto my bed not wanting to move then I remembered I can leave to the ice cream shop to meet up with my date! Well...guy I'm meeting with. I put on a white V-neck skinny jeans with a little bleach mark on the side from when I tried to bleach my convers, and a red and black flannel tied around my waist. I laced up my black convers and headed down stairs grabbing my phone and keys on the way out. Closing the door on my way out of a my room I heard trotting up the stairs. I turn and a big loaf of golden fur tackles me to the ground.
"Ugh!" I gripped my stomach in pain from what had just rammed into me. A wet tongue licked my face and I giggle and hug the big furry creature.
"Hey bear!" I laughed and hugging him. Bear was a rescued dog that was homeless. We found him when he abandoned  by our garbage can.  I got up and ran my fingers through his golden fur.
"Good boy! I will hang with you later ok?" I hugged him one more time and hopped down stairs still hoping to avoid Bridget. I text my mom -I'm ready to go-  out of luck I bumped into Bridget.
"Hey watch it- oh hey Amber!" She gazed down at me like a was a piece of garbage but her words seem to differ.
"Hey Bridget." My words seemed to linger on. Her gave me a look of petty and slowly made her way to my bother Blake. I gag in disgust of how he could love a girl like her. I swing open the door and lock it behind me. My mom rolled down the window.
"Well it took you long enough" I laughed and hop in the car.
"So..did you start your period?" I turn red I embarrassment. I take a deep breath and even though knowbody is here I still freak out
"Mom! What the hell?"
"It's a common question. Plus I'm going to the store. You need pads? Tampons?" I open my mouth is awe but no words come out.
"No! no! I don't need those and nor do I want to have this conversation ever again or at least in a month...no I mean never...ever again!"
My mom laughs and stops at a red light.
"I'm just saying." She glanced at me a couple more times until the next red light and turned in the radio. My favorite song came on.
"Oh hunt look it your favorite!" She turned up the radio and I belched out the course as if know body was there. Playing air guitar and everything. I open my eyes floating away from my fantasy and see a bunch of teens in the car next to me looking and laughing. I sink down into my seat and turn white. I covered my mouth and look up as there car zooms in the other direction.
"What's up hun?" She looked at me with a confused look.
"I was just...humiliated ...thought guys saw me singing!" I blush from embarrassment. My mom gave me a reassuring look. She pull up to the ice cream place and I hop out of the car.
"Call me if you need anything!" She pulls away from the curb.
My brown hair blinding me in from the wind. I look around and saw know body.