The mind of a so called "Angel"

Chapter 1 : The Effects of Thinking too Much

Depression???
Behavioral episodes???
Stress???
Changes in personality???
Could these all be effects of over thinking?

In my opinion Thinking can Result in two things: Death, or Being reborn .

Why do people think so much ?
Why do we obsess over little things?
Why do we either use thinking as an excuse as to why we perform impulsive actions/regret things or the "Correct" way to solve a problem
Why
Why
Why
Why
Why!?????
Well, I know for a fact that I do think a lot. I'm not sure if  "too much" would be appropriate to use, but I'll just keep it safe and use "A lot ".
I just so  happen to think of the future pretty often. I think about my death a lot for one thing. I'm hoping it's peaceful and that I get to say goodbye to everyone I care about. That it's from old age or some other natural cause  and not my Reality ( which is mostly likely going to be the reason  anyway ). That my funeral won't be all depressing and that people have FUN and celebrate the life I had and all the great memories I've shared with everyone. Instead of a room full of teary  eyed people who may not even want to be there, all sad and depressed due to my death .(Writing this I just remembered I actually wrote a will a couple years ago but never mind that ) That people remember me for my good and bad (mainly my good 😉) qualities and memories. I think about if I'll ever be able to live most of my life as a normal person (the word "normal "should be taken  lightly. Like If ill ever get into College?
If I ever get a job ? 
Will I be happy with my job?
Will I ever be truly independent? Will I ever meet the God made person for me who is everything the love of your life is supposed to be?( let's not get too Sappy here) 
Will I be forever alone?
Will I ever have biological children?(* Thought bubble*   I have no problem with adoption as long as my husband agrees and we are okay financially and with other things like that)
Will my husband (that I hopefully get) even want children?
Will I save my virginity until I'm married to the right guy?
Will I even live past my teens?
What does my future  hold?
Do I even have a future at all?
What if I start drinking?
Will I get addicted like my father (if I should even call him that but I'll tell you about that later) or will I start laughing uncontrollably after half of a margarita like my mom (she cracks me up so much )?
Do you see what I'm taking about. I clearly think Way too much. I'm only 13 years old and I'm already so worried about my life. I should be enjoying my time as a kid. But instead I'm dwelling on things that happened even occurred yet. Why must I torture myself with these haunting thoughts ?? Why so many questions ?????

I also think about the past too but I'd rather not talk  about that right now .