If i changed one thing in my past it would most likely be when i added this guy on facebook some years back. When i was in the sixth grade i was a horribly awkward kid - i still am today- and one night i was talking to my friend and i was scrolling through Facebook. I saw a suggested friend to request and he went to my school, i knew the name but not the face. This guy is like six feet of giant, at this time sixth grade me is five foot and anyone taller than 5'5 is a giant, so me being me assumes hes in eighth grade. So i asked my friend -who knew everyone in the upper grades- if i should add him. My friend being her dorky self said i should go for it and that she knew him. So i just went for it, i clicked send request and waited. Maybe 5ish minutes later he accepted my request, again me being my dumb self decides it'll be smart to say hi to this boy who i had no idea the grade or age of. This brings us to today me and this guy still talk, we almost dated, - thats a long story another time though- more about him than some of my other friends, and happened to be in my grade.
If i had never added this boy on facebook, i would probably be dating someone at this moment because i developed feeling for the facebook kid shortly after we started talking. I wouldn't be so self conscious about my apperance and i wouldn't be absent-mindedly searching the halls for him. I would probably currently wear skirts and stilettos on a daily basis and to school. This boy changed the way my life is since my first year of middle school. I might be dating this boy, I'll name him, john, and i found out john had a crush on me a few months ago and i don't feel anything more than a friend towards him. I don't like like him because, i am still emotionally attached to this facebook kid -im going name him mark- so i cant get over hom ebing my first crush to show mutual interest in me as i do him. I was also never depressed or suicidal before meeting mark, but that's okay because that's how life is.
I would love to have a different life but at the same time would changing that one small moment in my life be worth all the memories i made this kid, mark. How do i know that maybe meeting this mark kid made my life worse? I could have been worse off if i had never met him or I'd be better off, maybe happier if i didn't know him. I wont know because my life already went down the path that it did and i cant turn around and Change my life and how it is right now.
