There Can Only Be One

Keep Fighting

The next day Jessica and Dorthy woke up early getting ready for Jessica's treatment. Jessica brought her quilt and computer. Dorthy brought along a book.

"I'll see you when I get home... Good luck today." Sam says walking Jessica outside

"I'm so sorry about last night." Jessica hugs Sam

"Don't apologize. It's a hard time."

"Tell Kennedy I'm sorry..."

"She understands. You don't need to say you're sorry, okay?" Sam smiles

"Okay..." Jessica kisses Sam goodbye and gets into the car.

**

When they got there the nurses did the usual, taking blood then hooking Jessica up to her IV's and giving her pre-meds.

Jessica sat in her chair with her arm out. Dorthy sat across from her as she watched the doctors poke her prod her daughter.

"Alright Jessica, we are accessing your port now."

"Mom, could you hold my hand?" Jessica says

"Of course baby..." Dorthy stands up and takes Jessica's hand.

As the chemo goes in Jessica grasp tightly to Dorthy's hand and fights the tears.

"How have you been feeling, Jessica?" The nurse says

"Tired. Very tired. The medication Doctor Burke has me on is killing me."

"Well, I'm giving you anti-nusea like last time. I hope that it helps a bit. This will take about two hours. Once we are done we will get you ready for radiation. Your mould is ready also."

"Thanks." Jessica says

**

Dorthy watched Jessica as chemicals entered into her body. Dorthy thought to herself how things went so downhill and how her daughter was sitting in a chemo chair. She examined Jessica's weak body. She saw in Jessica's eyes that she was tired of feeling the way she was. All Jessica wanted was to get better and go on with her life, but in reality this would most likley be the rest of Jessica's life. It was hard for Jessica to cherish each moment because each moment was pain. Day by day the cancer grew and grew taking over Jessica's body.

"Do you want anything?" Dorthy says

"I'm okay... Thanks."

"Don't mention it sweetheart." Dorthy gives Jessica a small smile

"Thank you for everything mom. I really don't know what the kids and I would do without you. You dropped everything to come out and help me and I couldn't be more greatful. These last few weeks have been the worst. I've been dealing with heartbreak. I never thought that I would leave this earth so soon. People say that I could go on for years, but I don't think I will. It has already spread to my brain, there is no way out of this. It is so scary knowing how I will die. I'm not ready to go. I want to see my kids grow up and be the wonderful humans god plans for them to be. I want to see how wonderful they are and will be and think to myself, wow I kinda contributed to that, those are my babies conqouring the world. I'm going to miss so much. There is so much I want to tell them and teach them but there won't be enough time. Who knew that time would turn into such a blessing in just a matter of weeks. Every second is a blessing. I'm sorry for being so angry... I can't help but be angry. I don't want to be like this, the only reason I am doing this and depending on this toxic drug that enters my body is so that I can be with everyone I love just a little longer."

Tears filled Dorthy's eyes. She wiped them trying not to make a scene.

"You are such an amazing daughter Jessica... You are so strong, optomistic, and a wonderful mother and wife. Seeing you become the women you are was such a blessing. Ever since you, your brother and sisters were young I always got so scared when you were sick. A little harmless cough scared me. Your father always thought I was crazy because I just became so worried. I always made sure you four got better. That's how it always was and has been. You don't have to thank me for coming out here. I'm your mom... I came here to help and be by your side. I won't leave your side until you want me to. Anything you need or want I will do. It kills me not being able to take this away. Don't think about leaving this earth missy, because I'm not ready for you to go. Nobody is. This is a hard journey but please just keep moving and keep fighting."

Dorthy holds Jessica's cold hand and kisses is. "Promise me you will fight."

"I promise." Jessica says in a shaky tone

"I love you baby..."

**

After chemotherapy Jessica was taken to get her first round of radiation. A week before Jessica's face was molded and they made a mask for radiation. The point of the mask or mould was to keep Jessica in the same position each time she got radiotherapy. The point of the radiotherapy was to stop the cancer that was in her brain. The machine was programed to hit the same spot of Jessica's head each time. That's why it was so important that the radiation to hit the same spot and she didn't move.

It was extremely uncomfortable and nerve wracking for Jessica. The mould pulled her chin back putting her in an uncomfortable positon.

The room was dark. Jessica laid back as the machine did it's job. The machine was loud and constantly beeped.

After ten minutes the treatment was over and Jessica was cleared to go home.

**

When Jessica got home she went straight to bed and laid down. Dorthy came upstairs with her and kept her company. Jessica rested on her mothers shoulder as they flipped through old photo albums.

"Look at my little girl. She was so small." Jessica says loooking at old pictures of Kennedy

"I envy her eyes!" Dorthy giggles

"Her eyes are so gorgeous. Just like her... Ryan always told me I should get her into modeling. But I don't want her in that bussniess. "

Jessica and Dorthy continue flipping through the album.

"I feel like a horrible mother. I haven't been there for them. I'm not involved anymore. It will get worse from here. It was so important for me to see Kennedy today. I want to fit all of the school plays, events, and everything else in before it's too late..."

"You are a wonderful mother. I wish you were around back then when I first had Ann so I could learn from you." Dorthy kisses Jessica's cheek and smiles.

"Thank you... I just want the kids to know how much I love them."

"They know... Between you and me, on Saturday Kennedy kept telling me what an amazing mom you are and how she wants to be like you when she is older. She said she wants to be able to love her children like you love her. You inspire her Jessie."

"She said that?"

"Yes! She loves you. You could pick anyone from the street and have them spend the day watching you with those kids and even they would know how much you love them."

"I really needed to hear that. Thank you." Jessica hugs her mother.

**