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Idalia Cassia Rose.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Is all I heard.
The sound of the clock stung my ears as I impatiently tapped the pencil on my desk. The words that I grew accustomed to ran through my mind over and over again.
"You're nothing but a worthless piece of shit."
"I don't give a fuck about about your life."
"I don't need you anymore"
"I never loved you"
"You don't have anything left to offer me. I don't want you anymore"
These words not only emotionally hurt me, but my heart feels physically broken. Which is why day by day, they stay in my head.
All of my life, I've bent over backwards for everyone. But this person in particular, I can say I've done the most for. Anything he asked, I did. Anything he wanted, I gave it to him. All the things I've done, only to receive hurtful words in return.
This thing called life that I live in, I've been treated like a a plant that hasn't been watered. It's dead. At least that's how I feel.
Dead to everyone.
The only reason I hold onto life is because for one, God has a plan for me. I know the way I get treated is for a reason. I may not know the reason now, but I'll know later.
So I remain strong.
And at this point, I only have three people.
God, myself, and Dave. But I think I guess that's fine though.
I was given up for adoption and from there, my life was pretty much fucked.
At the age of three, I was placed at a placement home. The children there were mean and cruel. I was being abused and raped there too.
The funny part about it is, all of that continued when I was adopted by a Caucasian couple. They both were very abusive and they treated me like I was their slave. Sometimes they even starved me.
All the way to the age of 16 is how long that took place.
One night, I began tired of the beating and told my teacher Mrs. Anthony. I can say I most definitely looked up to Mama Anthony as a mother.
