Losing Control

Old Habits Die Hard

"Can you at least put on some music? it helps me concentrate" I asked.

"No" was the response I got.

"Why not?" I asked irritably.

"Because it's detention"

I sighed..

"Whatever" I muttered.

"What's that?" She asked, obviously knowing what I said.

"Nothing, nevermind"

"No, please. Don't hold back" she responded.

Okay.. I can't hold it in anymore..

"You know, you have some nerve treating me like this after what you did" I said, calmly.

She stood up from her desk, stopping in front of me.

"Don't start, Lily. I already have enough stress on my mind" she pointed at me.

Which resulted in me also standing up.

"What did I say about calling me Lily? That is not yours to say anymore. Plus, you're under stress? Oh and I'm just over here in Jolly Land where I don't feel any pain or hurt or anger for what you did to me!" I said angrily, my voice raising.

"What choice did I have, Lilleth?! You knew I was married and I was your teacher! I should have never gotten involved with you in the first place. I should have known we were gonna get hurt"

"Yes, we both knew the consequences but it's too late. I'm already hooked and you don't care. You get to go back to your perfect life and your husband, while I sit here and feel my heart break everytime I see you and I have to know that I fell in love with a woman who doesn't feel the same way! I have to know what the feeling is like to be with the one you love, the person you know is the one for you and I have to live with the fact that I will never feel that again and I have to watch the girl I love be with someone else!"

We were both full on yelling now, thankfully her classroom was far away from any other room, so it was basically impossible for anyone else to hear us.

She sighed and I didn't notice until now that we both had tears in our eyes.

"Lily, I know what you're going through, okay? You just don't understand..." she said as she moved closer to me.

She continued on.. "I love you and I always will but I just can't give up my whole life, everything I've worked hard for a relationship that can't work anyway, because your my student and I'm your teacher. You don't think I feel your pain? I do"

"I get it, Tay. I do. You don't need to lie to me about how you feel. I'm just a stupid kid who fell in love with a married woman. I won't bother you anymore"

"Gosh damn it, Lily. Why can't you just listen to me?!" She practically yelled in my face, waving her hands in front of me dramatically.

"Because you don't love me, you never did! You can't just walk away from the person you love... So grow up and stop lying to yourself!" I said mirroring her hand movements.

"I do love you! Don't you dare tell me I don't!" She yelled in frustration as she gently pushed me back against the desk.

I stood up, bringing my face mere inches from hers.

"Don't push me" I said with malice.

She moved even closer to me, leaving only an inch or so of space between us.

"Or what?" She challenged me.

Before I knew what was happening, I felt her soft pink lips against mine.

I don't even know who kissed who first, as I was pretty sure we both moved foward...

I smelt the vanilla and raspberries coming off of her and I moaned into our kiss.

She entangled her hands into my hair and I gently gripped her waist as I walked her back into another desk.

I lifted her up and she responded perfectly by wrapping her legs around my waist.

She gently coaxed her tounge in my mouth and I sucked on it, drawing an animalistic groan from her..

I pulled back from the kiss, panting for air as did she.

That's when she realized what was happening and she quickly hopped down and distangeled herself from me.

"No.. I can't" she panted.

Then she was gone.

What the fuck...

Oh my god..

I brought my fingers to my lips, feeling where she just kissed me.

I felt that anger again..

Why can't she just be with me?...

My knuckles turned white as I balled my up my fist.

I can't do this anymore...

I need to forget...

Then a thought came to mind..

I pulled out my phone and dialed Lacy's contact.

"Hello?" I heard from the other end.

"Hey. Still want to go to that party with me?"...