Him.
As we were walking together I could feel the cold crisp air against my faded face. He reached over and put his arm on my shoulder but I rejected it.
He asked me if something was wrong but I just looked away and replied with "no everything's..okay".
But it really wasn't, nothing was okay.
"Well I'll text you later, kay?" He said.
"Yeah..I love you."
"I love you too." Then he kissed me before he left.
I went inside my house and as always I dropped my bag at the door.
I was feeling really laggy today and I don't know why. I guess being away from him all this time was making me feel lonely.
Before I went up stairs my mom asked me how school went.
"Fine. Well I'm going to go to my room now so, later"
"Are u okay?"
"Yeah..I'm. fine."
I walked really drowsy to my bedroom.
I laid down in relief, I gave a big sigh and just looked up at the ceiling.
Everything looked different to me, it looked, gray.
Within the next ten minutes I fell asleep.
I had a dream. Me and Kevin were in the woods, we were walking and all of a sudden he stopped. He asked me if I truly loved him and I told him that I did and I wanted to be with him forever. He told me that he wanted me to sincerely tell him that I deeply want him. I told him. Almost twenty seconds passed bye and he swiftly left without saying anything. I stood there, a cold clear tear ran down my cheek the only problem was that I didn't show the expression.
My face and mind were blank. But I could feel everything, inside it was almost like life was still.
The next morning I went to school and I saw Elizabeth and Rebecca.
We walked to the bus stop where the tree stump that we always meet at was. Elizabeth was saying that last night her and her boyfriend had their first kiss.
Rebecca was looking at Elizabeth like she was crazy because Rebecca clearly stated that "were to young to have guys in our life and they will wreck our future right now". She has never had a boyfriend so I'm guessing she has never felt what it's like being in that zone.
The bus came and dropped us off at school like any normal day. School went on and I was still feeling like I did the day before. Nothing changed.
When I went home I was walking down the road alone because Kevin had soccer practice after school. Grabbing my camera I took a walk through the woods since none of my parents were home and they wouldn't have to worry about me. I liked the woods. They gave me a sense of warmth and stress free being who u want. Being anywhere the sun shines between those branches without being judged is perfect.
Suddenly my red beanie dropped off from my head and it was blowing in the wind so I had to go and catch it. I had catched it and it took me to some hill where I had never been. The most amazing thing I have ever seen. Beautiful. It was the most perfect green grass hill with the fall trees covering the mellow sun. I stood on the hill and I could feel everything just lift off of me, I closed my eyes and right then and there I felt something. Something I had never felt before. My life in one perfect picture. The wind blew in my hair, and right there I knew this was my spot where the wind will fall into my arms.
I spread out my arms to feel the warmth of the sun yet the light breeze of the wind. I felt weightless. I realized I had been there for quite a few minutes and I had to leave before my mom came home. Before I left I placed a stone there marked with and "A" for Anna. I swiftly ran back to my house through the trees in the back way. I felt like I had found somewhere where I could finally be myself.
Two weeks passed and things with me and Kevin had been getting pretty serious. He had been kissing me really fast all the time like he wanted to, but he was shy. I continued to go to the hill and take pictures or draw and think about life. I'm at school and Mr.Clark is going on about the school dance tonight. I don't really want to go but Kevin is making me.
Today mom picked me up from school because she said she had a special "surprise".
