Small collection of poems + thoughts

I feel broken.

I feel empty and I give up,
My head is completely fucked!
I miss people like mad,
I listen to music that makes me really sad.
I fake a smile everyday,
And I hope that the pain goes away.
Laughter turned into tears,
Tears turned into fears.
I fear my mind and thoughts,
They kill me inside,
I feel broken.
I actually enjoy school because I hate it at home,
Shouting, screaming, I always hope Im dreaming.
My teachers say I need to build my confidence but they don't know what society is like nowadays,
If you wear too much makeup, you're high maintenance, if you don't you're ugly and if you cry you are emotional and weak, I guess I'm all of them.
Overthinking all the time,
Falling in love should be a crime,
I hate my life,
It could all be over in the stroak of a knife.
No I don't want to die,
I just want to be ok,
Is that to much to ask for?
It's not my fault that I can't go out everyday,
But it's all my fault I guess.
I feel fat, I feel mad,
I always cry and I'm always sad,
Very few people have the possibility to make me smile,
Happiness only lasts a while.
No-one knows how hard it is to get up in the morning,
To face all the problems.
I try and be nice to everyone but I can't really tell if people like me or are just being nice.
I'm scared when I leave the house I'm scared when my 'friends' aren't in my lessons, I hate doing anything because I'm scared that I will embarrass myself.
Social anxiety.
At night I cry, silently, to scream out and cover my mouth to stop the panting and I can't breathe and I feel like that in school like everyone is laughing and looking at me.
If I get heartbroken I act like I don't care but it kills me inside.
I was upset and my school work was failing but my parents said try harder, how can I when I'm feel dead inside?
I don't know why I'm writing this, I'm just sick of things.
I hope everything gets better, lets just pray that all my pain goes away.
Laughter turned into tears,
Tears turned into fears.
I fear my mind and thoughts,
They kill me inside,
I feel broken.