If I could go back to the day I met you, I would in a heartbeat. I wouldn't let you in like I did. I would not have turned around in my seat like last time. I would have ignored you.
If I knew you would break me this much, I would have pushed you away, but I was blind. Blind by somebody actually liking me for me. I was the girl that was shy and insecure. You made me feel pretty and like I could actually be myself.
Than it all changed when you asked me that question.
What would you say if I ask you out?
I don't know.
If you would have came the next day I would have gave you the real answer. I would have said yes to you.
The next day, when you started dating somebody else, I felt like crap.
Since that day I always ask myself.
Why didn't I give you the real answer?
After that summer you decide to text me right before you broke up with your second girlfriend. My heart starts to skip a beat and I hated that. I hated that I fell for you so fast and so hard.
Than after that, you don't really say anything to me until the end of the next year. Then you stop.
Sometimes I think you lead me on. I just wish it didn't hurt so dang much. Honestly, I think I fell in love with you but how would I know. I have no idea what it's supposed to feel like.
Everyday I have this feeling inside the pit of my stoma. It took me awhile to figure it out. When I finally did, I hated it. The feeling of loneliness.
You messed with my mind and made me crazy for you. You made me fall for you. You always say the right things at the right time. You know how to get on my good side when you do something wrong. I hate that I will always forgive you what matter what it is.
The worst part about it all is that I blame myself and I will never forget you. You will always be the only person on my mind. You will always be there, but not physically.
Most of my days I spend thinking of you. How I screwed up. How this all could have been different. How I should have let you go. I should have let you go, but at the end of the day I figure something out.
I figured out that I'll never your number one or your first choice, but the crazy thing is you are not my biggest regret. My biggest regret is not telling you how I feel when I had the chance to.
Some nights I stay up just thinking of every detail of that day. From beginning to end. Mainly the part where I screwed up. I should have told you how I felt, but I didn't.
