Her Demons

the beginning of the ending

As she awoke she dreaded this day. Family cook out. The day where family came together once a year, just a day impress each other. To see who has succeeded more in life. I mean do we truly know each other half these people I don't even know their names..
Oh great here comes the miss prissy aunt..Put a smile on wear it to empress. I mean that is what this is for..
  Rosey there you are. What are you doing over here under this tree. Come on over here be social...you use to be such a social butterfly....
Ok Aunt Jace I will be there in a second right after I finish my chapter. Ok.
Yes honey that is fine. So many want to know what you have been up to. You have become our Lil mystery girl lately.
I know I know, but I promise I will be there.
Ok honey I will let them all know.

Yes please aunt Jace walk away with that grin of accomplishment like because of you I am going to go over there and spew my whole life out. Nope not happening.
Look at them all just standing there looking at each other with smiles then turn around and start talking about each other. Fucken joy!!!!
As Rose started to walk over she could feel the Erie feeling as if being watched, you know the feeling you get while walking down a dark street an there you find a shadow just lurking behind the corner of a building. That feeling as if your throat is closing. The tightness and numb feeling on the back of your throat.
She just stopped dead in her tracks steering straight ahead. Her eyes become so dark her skin as pale as porcelain.
ROSEY ROSEY hello are you OK, you look like you have seen a ghost.
Ohhh I'm I'm ok. Sorry I just got hot. I'm ok. I am just going to get some food and a drink. It is a hot humid day.
Yea hon you do that you have been hiding under the tree. You need more sun. You are so pale. And all this clothing it. It is just way to hot.
Thanks aunt Jace I know I know I will.
I walked over to the table still feeling shaky I felt like the very breath I breath was tooken right from my mouth an never got a chance to grasp it. I just can not believe it. Looking at the food my mind was going a mile a minute, I was on a roller coaster and a tilt a world at the same time. My hands not steady enough to grab a peice of cheese with out looking like I was sitting on top of a jack hammer. Wow I can only imagine all the clatter the old bittes are saying. All the I know what is wrong, and I bet it is this. If they only knew the truth they wouldn't be talking. But why bother they would not care they would only say I'm crazy. Oh God I need to find a way out. Like poof away, take me away.
All along while rose was looking around and sitting there surrounded by everyone he stood there glancing from behind the tree. He stood there lifeless, cold and his eyes even though as black as new tar that is freshly laid. Looked so deep into her that she knew he was still around but no where to be seen.
Rose was trying to look around the crowd of ladies, who was taking it easy on her. They just sat there, some just steering at her like she is a freak while others put on the show of sympathy but for personal agendas.
Where is he I know I saw him. I can't be imagining him.
Oh God all of the eyes they are just looking at me like a fucken freak show. Back off ladies. Damn I need to just forget it. It must of been because of seeing everyone maybe that is what it was. Yes that is it, just the old hags. Maybe if I put on the innocent smile they will start to entertain them selfs again.
While looking around at the so called family they saw me smiling back at them.
      Oh rosey dear you look so much better you are getting color back in your skin not much but at least it is some color.
Thanks, aunt sara I think.
      So dear tell us what have you been up to we have not seen you in years. What is new?
Yeaaaa all eyes on me. What am I supposed to tell them....what am I supposed to say.
The sweat was starting to reappear. The shakes was starting to return.
     Oh I know rose thought. I can play their hand.
Rose sat there and looked around with a huge smile on all their faces. Rose returned the smile clutching her book in between her hands. She started to tell them.
     Well I have been in New York. I have been at college. Studying to be a English teacher.
Oh you should of seen the ladies eyes all wide an in Aww. Yes they are so taken the bait. As I sat there and told them all about the life of being a college student in the big city of New York. The questions started to fly.
Rosey dear do you have a job? Rosey hon do you live on campus or off campus?
I looked around the the yard. I needed to think, where would I work. It has to be some place amazing. Hmmm.
As Rose sat there the circle seemed to just get smaller with eyes getting good bigger. The smell of their perfume was so strong. It was clouding her thoughts.
    Rose about leaped out her chair with excitement.
I work at Macy's. I work in the perfume department. It is a great job. God hours pay is good. So I can't really complain.
     She sat there looking around at the family members she has only seen a hand full of times only a couple she actually could remember.
     I live in a studio apt. Off campus. It is a beautiful building an old building almost directly in the center of times Square.
     Now the looks she got was of complete amazement. Actually shock.
     Oh rosey dear that is wonderful. No wonder why you don't have much color. You must be so busy.
      Rose looked at her aunt Sara. As she looked at her. She could see the resemblance of her mom in her eyes.
Made her think of her mom. The way her almond shape eyes looked at her when she awoke crying or had a night terror.
    Softly smiling at her was her aunt Jace. The smile was just like her mom's. The thin lips the type of smile that if smiled would fade.
     Rose looked at them. And smiled back. As she started to look at all the others that was staring back at her. She felt them wanting to know more about her life.
     I was able to watch the ball drop on new years the streets was so full of so many people that you could not even see the pavement. And all the music. And oh the smells you could smell hot coffee brewing an warm muffins as they came out of the ovens in the bakery.
     And just as she went to look towards her aunt Jace. The smell over came her. That smell the smell of death. The smell of rotten flesh, the smell of blood over came her. That she closed her eyes. And was trying to think of the smells of the freash baked muffins. 
     As she opened her eyes she could only see sets of eyes looking at her.       Rosey dear what happened. Do you have diabetes. Is there something wrong.
   Yes honey do we need to call the ambulance?
At first she was confused what just happened the back of her head hurt. She felt as if she was punched in the back of her head. That was when she realised she was laying on the ground looking around at the family.
Oh, I'm ok I...I...think that maybe it is because I'm just tired. I think that maybe I should head back home.
As her aunts helped her up to her feet. She stood there an just took a couple of deep breaths. Looked around again an looked to see if it was him. But again no one was there.

Then it started