oh captain! my captain! | barnes

fallen

Since the day I arrived at camp, you've been there. You've been here cheering me on and standing up for me, and fighting for me when I didn't even know who the enemy was. We've had our times, we've had our rendezvous. But deep down, I think we both know we're more than the sum of our parts.
I love you, Bucky. From the moment I set eyes on you, I've loved you. You're my favorite soldier, you're my advocate, you're my protector... And I'll always love you for that.
My mom used to tell me, when I was growing up, that at the end of the day all we have is ourselves. But I'm finding that to be less and less true with ever day's end. I trust you, more than myself and more than anyone I'll ever meet. You're my wingman. I want to thank you for that.
If we don't come back - or worse, if only one of us comes back - I want you to know that I'll never turn on you; that I'll never not believe in you; that I'll never not fight for you.
I'm yours. It's you and me.
Oh Captain! My Captain! Our trip is (almost) done.
Love,
Audrey; 1942."

Bucky folded the letter up and looked at her. Her brows were drawn and she watched the cracks in the concrete as if heyy they'd move. She looked at him with weary eyes.

"I want to be free," she admitted sadly.

"I want you to be free. I love you, Ace," she cocked her head. She knew not the word 'love.' Not in this lifetime. Not now. But she felt it, deep inside her hollow being.

She nodded to him.

"Please," she pleaded. "It's time."

"Oh Captain! My Captain!" Bucky drew the gun from his inside pocket. The com was buzzing with voices. He pulled it out and tossed it away from him. "Our fearful trip is done, the ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won."

Her face darkened. The Villainess flickered behind Audrey's eyes. He continued with a dry mouth:

"The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting. While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring."

He approached his Audrey. Quiet sobs shook her being and cries fell from her open mouth. "But oh heart! Heart! Heart!"

He placed a silver bullet in the pistol. "Oh the bleeding drops of red," he cocked it and turned the safety off. "Where on the deck my Captain lies," he handed her the gun and nodded. She turned off the safety and placed the barrel under her chin.

A single round echoed throughout Harlem. The single round bounced off the waves and into the bulk of New York City. The Avengers froze in their radius. She fell to the ground and he watched her once blazing, dancing light extinguish.

Audrey's mouth was open in an empty sob, it would never escape her lips. A cold tear rolled down her cheek. He knelt down and kissed her bloody forehead. He let her eyelids down, and he breathed out the last line: "Fallen cold and dead."

What came next was a blur of images and a buzz of useless noise.

The Avengers made it to the roof in their own ways, seconds after the two women arrived. The cat that once brought a smile to Audrey's lips settled itself on her chest.

The cat cried.

Ray gasped for air as she yelled at Bucky, gripping his shirt and trying to bring her hurt onto him.

Ray cut his visible skin and beat her fists into his back, if only she didn't let him through her door. If only, if only, if only...

Phoebe pulled Ray away and held her close to sob and grieve. Phoebe silently took the loss in, burying it in the pit of her stomach.

Steve froze by his friend. Tony stepped out of the suit and began to ask the two women if there was anything he could do.

Bucky slipped his fractured hand into his shirt and clutched the tags. In the army, soldiers are told dog-tags are for the identification of dead men and lost souls. He pulled his off, he was truly dead without her. He was dead the moment he lowered his book and she screamed at him, blaming him rightly for her near-death.

He set them around her neck, right by hers.

He stood, taking all of her in. Her metal hand released a clenched fist; the cat purred, begging for her to come back.

She didn't come back.