Tell me that you'll turn down the man. Who asks for your hand, cause you're waiting for me And I know, you're gonna be away a while but I've got no plans at all to leave and would you take away my hopes and dreams? And just stay with me
"He proposed to me" I said, almost in a whisper, and bit my lip when I saw his facial expression changed.
He opened his mouth, he wanted to say something but he can't and he didn't, as if something was stopping him to know the answer. Instead, he slowly looked down to my left hand and quickly avoided hiz gaze.
For a minute, no one spoke, neither of us tried to break the silence, we let the silence hurt us just like the moment we were experiencing right now.
He sighed, so heavily, that I knew he was framing himself to prevent him from crying but it didn't work. I saw tears starting to fall from his eyes that made my heart fall to pieces. Seeing this man who didn't do anything else but to love me and having the guts to change his heart and perspectives just to love me and be with me, made me hate nyself for hurting him
Tumalikod siya, umubo at suminghot na para bang akala mo na na sinisipon lang, kahit ang totoo ay nagpupunas siya ng luha.
"Vice...." I called him as I wiped my tears away "I-i'm sorry. Hindi ko ala–"
"Okay" He said after he faced me. The redness of his eyes tells how he's hurting and when he still manage to smile at me, I wept.
"I was caught of guard. Hindi ko alam kung ano yung isasagot ko, I was about to tell him the truth about us but...but... I don't know how. " I started to explain.
"Okay"
"After niyang sabihin sakin na he was busy for a month because of planning for the proposal, and he was nervous, na kaya niya nagawang maging cold sakin kasi tinetest niya ako at ang sarili niya if it will really last....I don't know how to tell it to him anymore"
"Okay"
"Believe me. I was about tell him the truth but I can't."
"Okay" He said again that irritated me. He kept saying that it is okay but it's obviously not. Nahihirapan na ako, and yet he's being selfless again.
"Ano ba! You're not helping me. You're making me feel that I did the right choice of choosing him over you" I cried
"You did" He said as he smiled sadly.
"I don–" He cutted me off. Lumapit siya sakin at hinaplos ang mukha ko. I closed my eyes and feel his warm hands.
"It's okay Karylle, stop lying to yourself. It's not concience, it's still love, and it's okay. Hindi mo kailangan baguhin yung nararamdaman mo para sakin. Hindi mo kailangan lokohin yung sarili mo para hindi mo ako masaktan. You don't need to sacrifice yourself for me, my sacrifice for you is already enough" He assured that made me cry even more. "I understand"
Last night, was a messed. Akala ko kagabi I was ready to break up with Yael, akala ko it is the start of Vice and I's relationship to grow but it didn't, akala ko I don't love him anymore but it still does. My plans, my practice, etc. didn't work when Yael cried infront of me. His words, his actions, his emotions made me shutter and my heart skip a beat. Mahal ko parin pala talaga siya na I was just mad at him to think that I don't love him anymore. When he started to kneel down, when he show me the ring, and ask me for marriage...I said yes without hesitating, without thinking of what my plan really is, and without thinking of Vice, the person whom I promised to stay with because of my emotions.
