Blessing {Smillan Fanfiction}

No morning text?

Hi! This is going to be my first chapter including Matt's point of view. I think most of the time, I'm going to try and stick with Karen's point of view, and just throw in a bit of Matt's for good measure.

The language is a bit strong, but I don't want to make in an M.. Not yet at least.

Enjoy, and please review.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Matt's P.O.V.

The piercing sound of my alarm clock filled my ears, and I sleepily fumbled around, my hand searching the bedside table for the off button on the irritating little machine. Eventually, I switched it off and rolled onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. I felt strange… As if something had happened, something had changed, although from what I could see, nothing was physically different, not on me, not around me. I sighed and slowly sat up, reaching out for my phone as I lent back against the head board.

I had a couple of text messages from my Mum, probably just more details about my sister's next performance that I'd agreed to go to. There was a text from Alex, an old school friend, who wanted to meet up for a pint next time I was at home, but there wasn't a text from the person I'd expected. Karen. Every day for about six months I'd woken up to some kind of message from her, whether it was a complaint about the traffic, or a photo of her pulling a silly face when she was bored and struggling to sleep at three in morning, always something like that. There were only a few mornings when I didn't get a message, and I was with her, so there was no need. Either we'd all stayed out at the same place, or we had done an all-nighter on the filming... And there was that one time in Spain, but well, detail wasn't needed. It had become a routine for her to send me a text message to wake up to, almost as if it was a friendly reminder that she was still there. 'Morning Smithers, your crazy ginger best friend is still here, still remembering to text you every day... Not going anywhere.' I chuckled to myself at that thought. It had even been her voice in my head.

I ignored Mum and Alex's texts for the time being and composed a message to Karen. It was silly to worry about her, but at the same time, it was unusual for her to not message me first thing in the morning… What if something had happened to her? Of course, I was more than likely being over the top, and she'd probably just over slept after deciding to text me when she woke up. But I couldn't be sure.

Morning Kaz. xxxxxx

I typed, adding a small happy emojii on the end of it.

Karen's P.O.V.

I groggily awoke, after a restless night, to the soft buzzing of my phone in my ear. I slid my hand under my pillow and pulled it out, squinting at the glow of the screen. Jesus, it was bright. I closed my eyes and opened them one at a time, slowly allowing them to get used to the bright light.

Once they were adjusted, I saw a name that made my stomach flip. Last night's revelation flooded back into my mind, and my heart pulsed at double the speed as I unlocked my phone and waited for the message to appear.

'Matt ❤ - 07:08 am.

Morning Kaz. xxxxxx'

My heart sank as I realized that I'd over slept, and I'd not left him a morning message like I normally would. I couldn't bring myself to do it, just like now: staring at this screen, knowing that I physically can't bring myself to reply. I can't pretend that everything is okay, not anymore.. Because it's not.

How would I tell him? That was the question that had kept me up all night. How could I tell him that one drunken fling was going to determine the rest of our lives? As unusual as it is, the night had brought us closer... There was no awkwardness the next morning, just a typical Matt and Kaz snuggle, then off we went pretending it never happened. Although every now and again he'd have that little knowing twinkle in his eye and we'd exchange a cheeky glance, neither of us brought up the event that had taken place almost two months ago. I couldn't tell him that we'd created a baby... He'd make a great Dad, of course he would, but it wasn't the time. He was still climbing the career ladder, as was I, but just because I had to hop off it, I didn't have to bring him down too.

And there was no way I could go through getting rid of it. I couldn't kill the tiny creature growing inside of me.

I'd thought we were careful. I knew we were. I saw him sort out the contraception. I double checked it. Apparently not well enough. The condom must have split, we must've been far too drunk to notice. Even the next morning it didn't occur to me that it had split.. Had he noticed?

I sighed and locked my phone, not ready to reply, even if all I had to say was 'morning'. I pushed myself up and lent back on my elbows, looking around the dimly lit room. It was my one bedroom flat, yet it didn't feel like home anymore. I'd have to move in a few months, this place wasn't big enough for two, and not very child safe up on the sixth floor.

My phone buzzed again and I looked down to see the name 'Steven Moffat.' Oh shit. I'd have to tell him too. Well, only if I started to show over the next few months... I was leaving Doctor Who anyway, I suppose he didn't need to worry.

But I could see it now. The articles in the Newspaper's, saying I left Doctor Who because of the pregnancy, not because I was ready to leave. We'd had it planned for months that I would leave, but it had only come out recently. As soon as I announced the pregnancy, the rumors would be created and spread, and I just hoped that the brunt of it all would go to me. I'd hate for everyone at Doctor Who, and Matt to be affected.

I sighed again and dragged myself out from under the covers, getting ready to start my day.