All For Nothing

Chapter Thirty

"Mommy! Daddy!" Jyushimatsu called out ecstatically, his mouth in an open smile as he opened up the kitchen pantry, looking for his parents.

His yellow indoor slippers squeaking on the floor, the little boy continued to run around, looking for them.

Ichimatsu felt like the devil himself had grabbed his heart and jerked it out from his chest. He felt like he was about to shatter into a million pieces as he watched his younger, tears in his eyes.

"Why..." Ichimatsu said hoarsely, staring down the stairs, clenching his fists, beginning to tremble. Though he was trembling partially because he was ill, he was more than just a little upset with Karamatsu at that moment. "Why didn't you stop him..."

"I couldn't!" Karamatsu quickly replied, his voice a tiny squeak. "You know I couldn't have grabbed Jyushimatsu in time! He's too fast for a child his age!"

"A child his age..." Ichimatsu mumbled. "Most children his age still have parents and are living in peace with themselves...most children don't have to worry about what the next day will hold...most children..."

Tears began to run down Ichimatsu cheeks as he stumbled back from the stairs.

Jyushimatsu ran by, his voice just as optimistic as before, still calling for their parents.

"You...can't let him keep doing that..." Ichimatsu whimpered, nearly falling, but Karamatsu caught him just in time. "He needs to know the truth now..."

"But you-" Karamatsu began, but stopped himself, realizing it wasn't worth his life to fight with Ichimatsu. After all, he wanted to get along with him. He wanted to be closer to him.

Letting out a long, depressive sigh, Karamatsu first helped Ichimatsu sit down on the floor so he wouldn't get hurt if he happened to fall. Then, heart pounding, sweat running down his forehead, Karamatsu called out to Jyushimatsu, his voice cracking.

"J-Jyushimatsu..." Karamatsu sighed again shakily once the boy had stopped running around, staring blankly at the floor. "come up here."

Karamatsu sat down on the top step of the stairs, his hands trembling as Jyushimatsu sat down neck to him.

Kicking his feet back and fourth, Jyushimatsu looked up at Karamatsu and smiled softly.

"Don't look so sad, Uncle Karamatsu!" Jyushimatsu giggled, hugging his brother from the side, his cheeks a rosy color as he nuzzled his older brother's arm. "We're all home now! You should be happy!"

"Y-You're..." Karamatsu was fighting back tears again. Quickly turning away, he pretended he had to cough, rubbing a single finger under his left eye to catch the few tears that managed to escape. "You're right..."

Ichimatsu let out an irritated sigh, resting his head on his knees. Just from the grunts and sighs he made, Karamatsu could tell, not only was he irritated, but his pain was worsening.

"He must be tolerating much more pain than I imagined right now..." Karamatsu thought, staring at the floor, knowing that Jyushimatsu was talking to him, but he couldn't hear a single word he was saying. It was as if he had gone deaf inside his mind.

"I can't wait for mommy and daddy to get home! They must have gone to the convenience store to get groceries so we could have good food tonight!" Jyushimatsu giggled lightheartedly.

Karamatsu snapped out of his thoughts, shaking even more than before.

"JyushimatsuIhavetotellyousomethingimportant," Karamatsu spoke quickly, all in one breath.

"What is it?" Jyushimatsu asked, swaying back and fourth a little.

"They're not coming home..." Karamatsu mumbled.

Ichimatsu buried his head even further into his knees, shivering. He didn't want to hear Jyushimatsu cry, so he quickly covered his ears, beginning to cry himself. He hadn't even meant to, but sometimes it was okay to be human.

Jyushimatsu froze entirely, his happy face dropping like a bomb. Tears welled up in his eyes, but he didn't say anything.

"They..." Karamatsu smiled weakly, wrapping his arms around Jyushimatsu. "They'll never be coming back home."

Jyushimatsu opened his mouth, a small whimper escaping his lips.

"It's okay...to cry," Karamatsu reassured Jyushimatsu, but for some reason, when he said this, the little boy bit his cheeks, trying to hold it all inside.

Jyushimatsu stood up, walked past Karamatsu, then sat down next to Ichimatsu on the floor, hugging him.

"Don't cry, Ichimatsu nii-san..." Jyushimatsu whimpered, forcing himself to buy his cheeks again. "Don't be sad..."

"You don't understand, do you?" Ichimatsu spat bitterly. "They're dead, Jyushimatsu. No matter where you look, you're never going to find that comfort ever again. Because when people die, they can't come back. Our parents will never be here for us. We're all alone now."

Finally, Jyushimatsu fully understood what Karamatsu had meant, and he just completely lost it.

Sobbing loudly, Jyushimatsu's tears soaked the sleeve to Ichimatsu's hoodie. Drenched, would have been a more fitting word at that moment.

Karamatsu sighed, and walked back down the stairs, guilt overwhelming him.

"I've failed as a brother again, haven't I?" he thought to himself in agony. "The only thing I can do to earn back their love...would be to heal Ichimatsu. If I could just heal him...we might..finally be even.."