Infatuation

I do not know how it happened,

Or when, or why.

I just know that the sweet realization,

Was a lot for me to take.

Maybe because, while I was busy being too awkward

And refusing to acknowledge my peers

He was the one to approach me and give me hope.

I am but a child, hence I can't possibly perceive love,

True love,

But this fire within me can't possibly be

A mere feeling of attraction.

I want to run away from him

And touch him at the same time.

I want to look away

And never blink once I catch his eye.

I know that there can never be anything between us,

Misunderstand me not, all I desire

Is his trust.

He is not perfect, but neither am I,

Perhaps that is the beauty of it.

While everybody warns me against him,

I feel more drawn in each time.

He is supposed to be arrogant,

I see his concern for defeated and forlorn juniors.

He is supposed to be condescending,

I observe his love and empathy for his friends.

It's not the case that he doesn't try,

I am simply too shy,

To wave back in the corridors

And, too proud to text him first every time.

It is not his face,

But his presence that flatters me.

Not his eyes,

But his gaze that petrifies me.

It is not his ignorance,

But his knowledge of my infatuation

That kills me inside.