I am so mad at myself.
I feel like I hate myself instead of hating you and I don't know if that's possible.
Because I convinced myself I was over you and now I know it was all pretend.
I pretended that I didn't look at you when you didn't notice I was.
I pretended not to light up when you entered the room.
I pretended not to be upset when we got in a fight.
I pretended I didn't look forward to seeing you everyday.
I pretended I wasn't hurt when you broke my heart.
I pretended I didn't miss you when you when you didn't come around.
Now all these lies have showed me is that I miss you so much more than I want to admit.
