There's some things you never forget, like the time(s) you spent alone in your room crying yourself to sleep as you hug yourself tightly trying your hardest to keep yourself intact, together, but failing miserably.
Or the time(s) you stood in the shower and stared into space blankly because you felt lifeless, as if you were alive but you weren't living; although you tried you're hardest to feel, yet you're so numb that it was basically impossible.
Or the moment you realized you really aren't worth it, and you don't deserve the people in your life or the life you have altogether; you sat there and thought about ending it all, it be better that way, everyone would be so much happier.
Or the moment you didn't sit there and think about ending your life, but almost did; you almost ended everything the pain, the suffering, the confusion, the hurt, yet you couldn't...it was as if you're soul purpose on this earth was to suffer.
Or the time you met the most annoying person in the world, and as the days went on they slowly became an obsession of yours, you craved their presence because they made you feel alive like you weren't just a walking zombie but an actual living human being.
Or the time you genuinely smiled for the first time in a long time because that annoying person's dumb comments became too much for you and you couldn't help but to let one go.
Or the moment you realized that that annoying person has broken all your walls and you found yourself confessing your life story to them; eventually, they knew you more than you knew yourself and it annoyed you yet you thought it was the most perfect thing in the world.
Or the time you fell so hard for that annoying person. They became your life line. You wanted to be in the persons life forever; you had so much love for them it drove you crazy. They brought you comfort and security; even their flaws became irresistible.
Or the time that annoying person decided they didn't want to be annoying anymore. They left you there hurting; you were in more pain than you were before. It felt as if they tore your heart out of your chest but they didn't stomp on it, they took it with them along with your mind and soul.
Or the time you sat down on your bed; that's all you did was sit there. Then eventually all the memories would play in your head and you're left thinking why, what did you do wrong? You knew it was you it had to be, and you were left there hating yourself.
Or the moment you decided to eat your pain away with tubs of ice cream, endless boxes of pizza, Oreo cookies, chips, soda, anything junky you could get your hands on because that's how you felt, junky.
Or the time all that pain turned to anger, and your hate for yourself turned in to hate for someone else. You snapped at anyone and everyone even though they never did you wrong. You've made them victims, like yourself, except this time you were also the villain.
Or the time your anger turned in to tears because you were tired, tired of being mad, tired of being hurt, tired of hating life, tired of hating yourself, tired of hating everything and everyone else, tired of wanting to die because nothing else seemed to bring you joy, tired of being tired.
Or the time you finally got up. You were done wallowing in your own pity. You decided you were going to take your life in your own hands and make the best out of it.
Or the moment you realize you're content with life and you got there all by yourself. You didn't need someone to fix you this time. You were genuinely happy.
Or the time for a brief moment all of this hit your memory at once and you could ghostly feel the pain you felt in what feels like forever ago, and strangely you embraced it because you knew that in life, there are somethings you never forget.
