Basically things I've been tagged in.
Well the ones I actually remember to do but I've been tagged like 7 times but haven't made any chapters about it....R.I.P
It gets to the point were I don't even feel like speaking.
I go mute.
Even if I do want to speak, I can't. It hurts. If I try I'll probably cry.
If I cry people would ask "What's wrong?"
The thing is, I don't know what's wrong myself.
I don't know why I'm sad. I don't know why I'm faking a smile. I don't know why I can't just end it.
End life itself.
I don't know why I'm alive. What's my purpose in even existing. Why I haven't just died yet.
Died.....in a hole....away from everyone....away from socialization....no one would care anyways.
Most of my life literally no one would bother to talk to me. They thought I was weird. I was different. Different from them.
People would tell me things. Of coarse at first I wouldn't care at all.
I wouldn't think much of it and not care.
But when you're told the same thing over and over....it does kinda get to ya....ya'know?
"You're weird!"
"Why can't you just be normal?"
"Why don't you like girly things? You're a girl!" (This makes me kinda mad because like seriously?! Just because I'm a certain gender, doesn't mean I'm SUPPOSED to like those things)
"You're ugly."
"EW! Get away from me!"
"You're such an idiot."
"You're stupid."
"You don't even have any friends."
THOUGHTS ON 3/9/17
I've been thinking of writing a poem? I get told I'll probably be good at it. I'm not sure though...
Walking on clouds
Soft and comforting
Falling to the ground
Scary and Paralyzing
Thoughts on 10/6/2017 Ummm....I thought I wrote more stuff than this?
That "poem" went to shit xD
And damn...I've changed a lot this year. I don't feel as sad or "depressed" which is good.
I just wanna put this video here because I watched it again and cried.....again.
Also....
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I love you both so much and even though I haven't talked to Samter in...like a month? More than that? A couple weeks? Forget it. It feels like years. I miss you a shit ton TheMarshmellow I love you babydragon_272 (I think I tagged the right account this time because you have 2 but only use 1)
10/8/17 I'm gonna post this and MAYBE delete it in a month or so? Ehhh, Idk (it won't let me publish this unless I put a tag btw)
