Can't move on (Scomiche)-[On Pause]

"Well, hi."

In all honesty, I've imagined multiple scenarios of this happening. We haven't properly talked in almost over a year, and every now and then,comes the "what if he suddenly realizes how important I am and decides to come to my door just to tell me he misses me, he needs me, just like I do". Obviously I'm living half of my life in my fantasy world, but nonetheless, it's fun. But this? THIS is how it finally happens? Fuck,the doorbell just rang. No, no no, no no no. I'm not ready. 
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Okay, before that traumatic incident, I think you should know, that I'm talking about my bestfriend. This is going to take a while so, get a cup of coffee, really. He was my literal, in all senses, soulmate. We've known each other since we were just innocent kids, not even knowing the difference between "dad" and "daddy". He lived/still lives right in the building next to mine. We had sort of an elite "clique" when we were young, and all of us used to meet everyday, to hangout, talk and play. It's strange how we were just kids yet I, and my other 2 bestfriends had a better sense of judgement than I do now. Funny. No, not funny, depressing.

I should explain, that, although a group, we had sort of a subgroup within. Yes, I know, utterly stupid. But anyway, it was Kirstie, Kevin & I, and then there was Avi and Scott. Cut the long story short,(which I'm already going unnecessarily detail in),  Scott and Avi were almost always dicks to us so we just stopped trying, and as predicted they didn't try either. It was a bit hard, since Scott and I were a bit close but whats done is done, you get over it. Simple, right? Sigh, those were the good days.

Oh well, flash forward to not that later, just a year, there was this app that was everything to us 14 year olds. You could ask questions as yourselves, or anonymously and of course your answers were public. I received an anonymous question asking "why don't you and Scott talk anymore?". I answered a bit timidly but honestly, "because I got tired of trying." Yes,I'm a dramatic lil bitch, but you love it. To  my utter shock, I got another question, from Scott. He said "well, hi, is this enough?". The rest is history. We started talking again, became closer than ever, and even though our group never rekindled, Scott and I became the closest. It was honestly amazing having a friend who'd get excited by the same things I do, could talk about absolutely anything, just being there for each other. Our fallout was the weirdest kind ever. We didn't have one fight, not one actual event that I could pinpoint to being the reason why we don't talk anymore. But I know why we did. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm mostly responsible for it. But it was the right thing to do for myself, or well, I thought so.

Okay. I might have not mentioned one tiny detail. As cliche and equally depressing as it is, I had a full-blown out crush on my bestfriend. No, fuck it, it was beyond past "just a crush". I was absolutely, utterly, one-sidingly, disgustingly; in love with Scott Hoying.

I need to make it very clear that I'm in no way an author. Let's just say this is some form of weird-ass catharsis. So this is just me talking to clear some things out about the "book". I hope whoever took the time to read this, liked it, and I haven't wasted your time. Obviously you're a scomiche fan so I already love you. I'll be kind of writing in a diary-format; if you don't like it, just mention it and I'll try to change it up in the next chapters. I don't know where this is going, or how long it'll be,so. Just putting that out there. Okay then. <3