Indoor Firework - RW

Rick's Little World

'I know, I know.' He sighs and runs a few fingers through his hair. 'Look I am about twenty minutes away from my place. I will take Zosia there and then come.' He peers through the window and sees Zosia stirring but she doesn't awaken. She is completely out of it.

'Okay. Just don't be too long, some of us have spent most of the day here.'

Ricky knows it is bad. If Simon is snide with him then the others must be seriously pissed off. He doesn't mean to be a pain; he just can't help it sometimes. He just wishes that he could make everyone happy. He sticks to what he says though and after dropping of a very confused Zosia to his house where she curls up on the sofa and resumes her sleep, he heads to the studio.

He isn't exactly met with a welcome party. The glares and glowers which are directed at him when he enters are scathing, making him shrink into himself. He doesn't understand why they are so annoyed. He came straight from the airport, dropping Zosia back at his only added about twenty minutes. No one says a word. 'Guys let's talk about this.' He pipes up and sweeps his eye line to look at them all individually. 'I know I've been busy lately but you knew that I was going to be a while today.'

'This isn't about today Rick.' Whitey shakes his head dismissively. 'Your attitude at any rehearsals we have done has absolutely stunk yet you do the telly stuff and the radio with a smile on your face. Being all cheery.'

'Do you not want this anymore?' Vijay questions, getting straight to point unlike the guitarist who was planning to make some sort of speech.

'What?!' He gasps absolutely horrified, 'Are you serious?!'

'Ricky you haven't done anything for this event but the design for the t-shirt.' Simon inputs, 'We have organised everything. Done the promo stuff for it. Everything.'

'Even Whitey did the interview for the paper.' Peanut says, Ricky didn't know that. His friend usually tries to stay away from doing any interviews whether it is for the telly, radio or journalists.

'You guys said that you had it covered.' He shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. 'The only reason I do the telly stuff is for us! You know that!'

'That's what we thought!' Whitey exclaims, 'But now we aren't so sure.'

An uneasy silence settles where Ricky looks down at his hands wondering whether he should tell them about some of stuff that has been going through his head the past month. Doing The Voice has been a distraction. Doing Bring the Noise has been another distraction. And so has Radio X. Now that most of it is over he feels like he can breathe again. Zosia being here helps. 'Why do you guys think that I have it easy now? It isn't all gold toilet seats and cash for loo paper you know...'

'We are not saying that.' Si states.

'I will tell you what has been happening in my little world.' He exhales sharply. 'Finished The Voice, drove back to London the same night, almost hit another car but instead swerved into the hard shoulder. I was fine. Everyone was fine. When I did arrive back to London though I was pretty shaken, didn't know what to do, went out to a bar, got hammered and shared a spliff with few people who I had never met before.'

'Christ Rick...' He hears from his left.

'Was so off my tits that I fucked one of them, got a cab back home and passed out on the floor of my bathroom.' He laughs at his own behaviour, 'Next day was completely hungover but had to go to the studios and get ready for BTN.'

Not one of his bandmates respond with words but Peanut buries his head in his hands and Simon stands to his feet and starts to walk out. 'You promised you would tell me if you ever got in this sort of state again. After last time.' The doors slams shut once he leaves.

'Next year I am not doing any of this stuff. I am not doing another series of The Voice, I doubt BTN will get recommissioned because of the other people and we will have an album to focus on.' He explains to them, they nod, Peanut's eyes flicker to the door which Simon slammed moments before. 'You can follow him Peanut.' And he does.

'Are you on anything?' Whitey asks.

'No.' He shakes his head but isn't annoyed at his friend for asking. It is a fair question. 'I have even restricted my alcohol intake.'

'Good. You drink like a fish.'

'I know...and I'm working on it.'

It takes a good ten minutes before the capped man returns with their curly haired friend who looks both bemused and anxious at the same time. It isn't healthy. 'Si I'm sorry. Things are going to get better I promise. The band comes first from now on.'

'What about the girl?'

'We shall see.' He shrugs, 'I hope for something to happen but if it doesn't then I can't spend my life moping about. We have a Christmas gig tomorrow and an album to finish.' They hum and nod in agreement thinking about their sixth studio album which they hope to finish before The Voice final. 'Now can we put this behind us, play a bloody Christmas song and get ready for tomorrow?'