A Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Chapter Four

Not sure what to say next, I took a sip of my water, which had been placed there before I’d come.

Then I started again when my brain registered what he’d said. The water I had been drinking all of a sudden decided to switch throat tubes, and slid down my trachea. Immediately, I began to cough uncontrollably.

He-he’d just called me hot! To my face!...sort of...

Cole looked alarmed at my coughing and he jumped up from his chair to pat my back.

“You okay?”

“Fine,” I managed to choke out, my trachea starting to clear, “just...” cough “um...” cough “saw a...uh...” cough “my ex...with someone else.” Cough, cough.

Those absolutely adorable eyes surveyed me sympathetically. “Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” I covered my mouth with my hand to stifle another cough.

Just then our waitress showed up. She had green eyes, like the hostess, but she wasn’t goth; she had her own bubbly look, and her dark hair was tied back into two buns that sat on top of her head like Mickey Mouse ears.

I totally have to try that sometime. I thought, staring at her buns.

Wait! I meant her hair that was twisted into buns, not like her rear or anything, ‘cause that could be...wrong and gross for me. Not that I’m saying she had a gross backside. I’m sure It was quite lovely...uh...I’m just...I’m going to go back to my story now.

“Hi there! I’m Janey. I’ll be your waitress today. What would you like to drink?” The waitress asked with a smile.

Cole and I both ordered our drinks, I with some difficulty since I kept coughing every few seconds. Afterwords, we just fell into another awkward silence.

Was that how blind dates were supposed to go? I have no idea.

Finally, my coughing subsided.

“Just get in, tell him no, and get out, Drea,” I repeated Alex’s words to myself in my head.

Brittany and Whitney were so going to kill me...I mean, Alex.

“Well, I hate to disappoint you, but-” I started to say, just as Cole said: “So, I was going to tell you this before-”

We both stopped and looked at each other in surprise.

“Oops! I didn’t mean to-” “Sorry, why don’t you go-”

I closed my mouth for a moment.

“You first,” we chorused.

The twilight zone theme music played in my head.

“You go,” I said quickly, before it could happen again.

Cole rubbed the back of his neck and laughed nervously. “Um...okay then. I was going to say - and no offense or anything, but I’m not.”

Huh? What the heck did that mean? 

“Not what?”

“Gay. I’m not gay.”

I heaved a sigh, relief flooding through me as I sagged forward in my chair. “Oh thank goodness.” 

If I had not been dressed like a guy, I totally would have been doing a happy dance.

He was datable! Available to woman kind. Specifically: me.

Can you even imagine how glad I was that he was straight? No, you can’t even fathom the depths of my happiness right then, but believe me you, the depths were deeper than the deepest chasm in the deepest ocean.

“You’re not either?” Cole’s voice brought me out of my celebratory thoughts. 

Realizing I was grinning like almost like a maniac, I tried to wipe my face of all signs of my giddiness. Unsuccessfully, I might add. So, then, I looked like...well, you know what? I don’t know. I mean, really. I couldn’t even see my face.

“Nope.” I said, and then because I just couldn’t keep my mouth shut: I lied. “I...uh...like girls. Only girls.”

The guy across from me gave me a flat look, like “well, duh.”

I cleared my throat self-consciously just as Janey, our waitress, appeared again with our drinks, ready to take our order.

Aware of the fact that I had yet to look at the menu, I scanned it quickly and just ordered something from a picture that looked somewhat scrumptious. Cole did the same I assume, and flashed Janey a smile. Cheeks glowing, our waitress hopped off.

Literally. She hopped, or, at least, skipped once or twice as she left our table.

A boy with dark hair and eyes - which were hidden behind dark, thick rimmed glasses (Not his hair, his eyes. Duh, people!) -, sitting in a booth a few feet away, looked longingly at her as she passed. He smiled when she turned to him, and raised a hand in greeting, but his countenance fell again the moment she looked somewhere else. 

All I could think was: Awww, poor baby. He’s totally in love with her.

I started fantasizing how one day she would realize that he loved her and they would start dating, and get married, and live happily ever after.

How cute would that be?

Deal with my weirdness, don’t judge me! 

Suddenly, there was a hand in front of my face.

“Earth to Alex.”

“Huh?” My vision turned rapidly dark and then light as I blinked.

Gorgeous hazel eyes were merely inches from my face.

If I could have, I would’ve jumped back, but I couldn’t, so I didn’t.

“Whitney and Brittany told me you were depressed?” Said Cole, finishing whatever he had been saying before.

Oh no they didn’t!

“Gah! I’m going to rip their perky little boobs off!” I hissed under my breath.

Unfortunately, that “under my breath” thing was still loud enough for my date to hear.

Cole looked startled. “Wh-what?”

“Oh...um...it’s just an expression...from something I’ve seen online...,” I tried to explain. “Anyway...they told me the same thing about you.”

“I don’t have boobs. I’m a dude.”

Wincing, I inconspicuously wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans.

“That’s no what I meant. I meant to say that they told me you were depressed. So I came.”

“Ah, I see, so this was a pity date,” he said, a frown tugging at his lips.

“No! I mean... Hey, wait a sec, you did the same thing!”

Cole shrugged, laughing.

And we launched in to a debate on which one of us was the culprit of The Double Devil’s scheme.

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Ugh.... not sure about this one. Comments?