The Mayor (Kaylor)

Chapter 15

 "I burned so long so quiet you must have wondered if
I loved you back. I did, I did, I do."

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Karlie 

After walking an extra block to compose herself, Karlie finally knocked on Toni's door. She didn't want to face Toni while she was freaking out.What just happened didn't mean anything, she kept repeating in her head like a mantra, like it was supposed to have a positive effect on her mood. It didn't mean anything. Taylor doesn't want you. You're going home and it's all over now.

So maybe it did mean something, but at least it didn't change anything. If things were any different, Karlie might have been mad at Taylor for not even trying, but she knew Taylor really believed they would never work out and that she just wanted to spare them pain. If it was up to her, she would have been with Taylor right now. But if Taylor had no faith in a possible future relationship with her at all, then maybe it was better that she wasn't. 

When Toni opened the door, she instantly saw through Karlie's calm poker face. "What did she say?" she said, a worried frown forming on her face. 

Karlie didn't reply and handed Toni the letter. She hadn't let her read it yet because she was in such a hurry to get to Taylor. Toni glanced at the envelope and then looked back at Karlie in disbelief. Karlie nodded as a confirmation. "You can read it."

Toni's frown became deeper as she quickly scanned the letter. "Wow, this is— it's a real confession. This is so sweet. What the hell went wrong?" 

"She didn't mean for me to have the letter, Lilah put it in my suitcase. She doesn't wanna be with me." Karlie hung up her jacket and they walked to the living room. "She has feelings for me, but she doesn't wanna act on them."

"Well, it appears to me as a lot more than just feelings. Karlie, she's crazy about you!" 

Karlie plopped down on the couch, her head heavy from the emotions. "It doesn't matter. Look, when she's saying she doesn't want to be with me, she doesn't mean not right now, she means I can never picture the two of us in a relationship. And I get that, I understand why she's locking me out. She's had some bad experiences with love and people leaving, and I'm not exactly the ideal partner for her."

Toni sat down next to her and poured the two of them a glass of wine. It was clear she was gonna give Karlie a piece of mind. "Karlie," she finally said when she handed Karlie the glass. "It's time to cut the whole star-crossed lovers crap. You're two grown ass women who have no reason at all not to be together. I understand that you both have your issues, but that doesn't make you unworthy of love or incapable of having a relationship."

"It's a little more complicated than to," Karlie retorted. "First of all, we have to take Lilah into consideration, she can't get hurt by this. Secondly, Taylor is just figuring out that she likes women, I can imagine that must be confusing for her. Thirdly, my anxiety and Taylor's... well, I don't know if there's a psychological term for it but I can imagine it would complicate things. And then you have the practical issues, it's highly unlikely I could get a job here and I can't afford to live here on my own."

"Oh, come on, you're just scared," Toni replied pointedly. "You're afraid to stay here, you're afraid of being rejected again." 

 "No, that's not— you know that what I just listed are all valid concerns," Karlie said. "But I'm not the one who you need to convince. I'm willing to take a leap, but she isn't, and I'm not gonna wait for her to change her mind like a lovesick puppy."

"You're not willing to take a leap. Taking a leap would be staying here despite what she said to you. You can move in with me. I could use the extra rent money and you would be close to Lilah and it would give Taylor some time."