4-22-16
There's those nights where you don't want to sleep. You just want to stay up as late as your body will let you. You want to hear the silent night. Just sitting in your room next to your best friend. With the window opened listening to the breeze blowing in the quiet dark night. The nights you're wishing your boyfriend was awake so you guys can talk about the mysteries of life. Where you just want to sit with music quiet enough to hear the sounds of the night. The nights where you want to be alone and thinking about what has happened in your life. The moments that made you smile uncontrollably, the moments you couldn't stop the tears from rushing down your face, and everything inbetween. Realizing you have been through hell and back and have made it this far, knowing you can take anything that comes your way. Realizing that friends come and go no matter how deep your bond is. Knowing not everyone is going to be there in the end so you can only depend on yourself only. Not knowing what comes next so there's no way for you to prepare for heartbreaks, losses, or betrayal. It's all a part of life and it will hit you at the least unexpected moments. Crashing down on you like the whole universe has fallen around you and only you can help yourself. That's when you realize that life is trying to destroy the happiness it has given you but you need to find a way to keep being ecstatic. You may not be alone at points but at night when you are alone you will realize that no matter what happens, It is just you struggling through life. Going through your struggles and the moments you want to last forever by yourself. That only you are the one that truly knows how you feel. Not only in general but deep down. There's those nights where you will feel all your problems crashing down on you and you don't know if you can make it anymore. That's when you realize that you are broken but will keep putting on a smile so no one knows your pain. You will smile and stay strong not just for yourself but mostly for everyone around you because you don't want them to feel the pain you are feeling.
6-20-16
Sometimes you notice that people even though they seem like they will be there forever. They eventually leave. There's no one really there for you. Yeah people say they will be there for you and they are for most the part. But when you need them the most they have their own lives. They don't realize that deep down you're falling hard. You are trying not to but you can't help it. There's something in you that can help to think that maybe if you were gone you wouldn't be in pain and that people wouldn't miss you. That's when you need to find your inspiration and even though it is hard to do what most inspires you. You have to try and push yourself. You can't let yourself give up. Especially since you have come so far.
2-6-17
Maybe it's me, maybe I'm just toxic when it comes to love. Not once have I had something good last. Something messes it up. But for some reason I always keep trying at it. I seem to never be able to give up when it comes to love. I'm a fool for it. It's not because I crave it I don't it's because the things it makes me feel. How it makes me view Life and see it. It makes me be happy which is rare for me. It makes me be me. It helps me live and realize the important things in life.
