With You | l.s (completed)

With You // larry one shot

Harry was absolutely terrified when he felt himself slip away from this blissful time with Louis. He fought the urge to open his eyes. It couldn't be over. He was dead. Louis felt the same. He didn't want to leave Harry, and this imagined reality. It was perfect, just what they wanted. He didn't want to wake up. He was supposed to be dead.

When both boys opened their eyes, at the exact same time, and looked right into each other's eyes, they knew they had failed. They couldn't be free. They weren't free. That's all they wanted, but it's something they couldn't achieve.

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It was six months since Louis and Harry tried to kill themselves. They missed that blissful place they had. They were still together, trying their best to ignore the hate. It was hard, so so hard. Harry was a wreck, emotionally unstable, unable to do much. He was depressed, and just wanted to be happy. That's all Louis wanted as well, but he was trying to stay strong for his Harry. Harry needed support. Louis did too, but felt as though Harry needed him to be strong.

They were both still suicidal, just wanting to get away from it all. They wanted the bliss back. That bridge was still there, the water still as peaceful as it was that night. That night when they were both meant to die. Something saved them, but they didn't know what. Could a love for someone so strong save you from death? Or was it something else? Did they not jump from high enough? Whatever it was, Harry and Louis wished it hadn't saved them. Living was a torture, the only light being each other.

When Harry couldn't take it anymore, he didn't know what to do. He loved Louis so so much, but couldn't handle his emotions. He needed to go, get away from all of this. Louis was out getting groceries for their home, and Harry had never felt more alone. The house seemed so small, so stuffy. He couldn't think straight. This was it. He picked up a paper and pen, and began to write.

Lou,

I'm so sorry I'm doing this. I can't handle living anymore. I know we agreed to go together. I know that. I just can't do this. It was amazing being married to you, amazing to close you and be loved back. I don't want to tell you how I'm going. You'll figure that out eventually. It's probably quite obvious. I need to feel the cool air on my face as I take my last breaths.

I'll be wearing my ring, and my necklaces, and those pants you really like. The black skinny ones with no rips in them. I love you so so much, it's impossible to express how much I do. Tell Gemma this isn't her fault, in any way. I know she will think it was. I've known her my whole life after all. Let my mum read this letter. She was the best Mum I could've asked for, and made my childhood the best it could be. I don't have the words to thank her. Just like I don't have the words to describe how much I love you, Louis. All I want is for you to be happy once I'm gone. It's my dying wish. Please, please continue to live and be the best singer and comedian you can be. Like the old times, when I'd be sitting in the front row of all your shows at the bars, the bright yellow wristband stating I was too young to drink.

And I remember clearly the day you kissed me for the first time, ever so gently. Then you asked me to be your boyfriend. I knew I loved you after that kiss. I felt the sparks, and they never went away. I still have them, even through this curtain of sadness. If you had left, I wouldn't have felt them for anyone else. If you do, well, that's okay. As long as you're happy. That's all I want. I was happy, overjoyed to marry you. I wanted to be with you forever, and I still do. I still will be. You just won't be able to see me.

I'll protect you from any danger, and let you live the long and happy life you deserve. Everything happens for a reason, remember that. That day we jumped, we didn't die for a reason. There was something left for us to do. We weren't done with our lives yet. And I know, I'm done now. There's nothing left in this world for me. I probably would've already been gone, but you kept me hanging on. I love you, Lou. You will always be perfect. You will always be the love of my life, even if my life wasn't as long as yours.