Burning On The Inside

Unwell

Do you ever just feel like there's nothing? Nothing you can do. Nothing that matters. Nothing to believe. No reason to be, no reason not to be... Not knowing why. Just... There... But... You feel... Like... Nothing.

It's empty, with feeling to it. You aren't sure what to do... Where to go. You empty your heart out, but for what? Why these things happen... You can't tell.

"Go to sleep" They say.

"Stay awake" They say.

Can't make a decision. You feel like you're being ripped in to a billion pieces. With no control... No way to help your current situation. Your head hurts. None of this makes sense. You know you should sleep, but you don't.

You're stuck. You don't even know what is holding you back. It's invisible... You're blind. You can't see.

Lost.

You feel,

Lost...

In a beautiful world, with a foggy perspective. It hurts. You want to know, so badly. But you simply can't. You see it, but can't grasp what's in your view.

This is your own fault. You let this happen. It's all in your head, you should have stopped it. But now you're too far... But not far enough. It's nothing. Nothing. Nothing. NOTHING.

That word doesn't make sense anymore. You forget what you were even talking about and notice the dark, filling the room. You feel where you are. Just sitting. So small. So insignificant. But, there.

You think about disappearing. Leaving everything behind. Something you don't know... Far from comprehension. It's frightening. Yet, you want to. You don't. You don't know. Maybe it's better that way. Maybe then, everything will be okay.

You get sleepy. Even more so than before. You want to sleep... He wants you awake. It's so complicated. It's simple. You decide to stay awake. Maybe that was the wrong decision. You worry. What if you messed up. You know you messed up. You know you should sleep. But... You. Don't.

You feel sick. Slightly dizzy. Your leg hurts. Your eyes burn. Your stomach feels cold. Why? You didn't do anything. You've just been sitting in bed. You don't know how to deal with this. Your head is pulsing. It hurts so much. It's heavy. You should have slept.

It's not that bad.

You're fine.