Morning nightmares

That morning when I woke up an unfamiliar face looked back from the mirror, is this the price I have to pay to keep my family alive? Every morning I wake up I look into the mirror it's like it can tell me things that I wouldn't admit to myself, deep down I know this place where I do not dare call home because eventually we will have to run again from a monster that is ready to put mine and my mother head on a stick. This is the live I was born in to and a life that I regret being apart of but every time I got the courage to leave them deep deep shallow green eyes pulled me back because when I looked into my mother eyes I think "why don't I leave she not stopping me? But I can't I see those lonely, depressed eyes and it make's me want to put joy and laughter in them." so I guess that the reason I don't want to leave my personal hell was cause of a bond between mother and daughter that has grown over the years.