The Cameron Dallas Dilemma

I AM ALONE IN THE NIGHT

     **FOR LANA DEL REY FANS: I HAVE SCATTERED LANA DEL REY QUOTES THROUGHOUT THE STORY, SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT THEM ALL**
**ALSO, it takes a while for the story to get good, bear with me until the first flashback***

It's a vast domain of horrific solitude. Loneliness infests every nook and cranny of an empty kingdom. Hopelessness, sentimentality, and the state of being lost.

I start this story in hopes of conveying what it feels like to be lost in a desert. The absolute absence of hope. Knowing that the chances of dying are greater than the chances of being found. To be the only living creature in visible eyesight for hundreds of miles. To feel absolute loneliness. In which there is not even a single life form of the smallest type to keep company. Just the endless grains of sand which mock your every step.

By golly, I hope I convey to you what it feels like to be lost in a desert at night.

Because what it feels like, my friend, is something life-changing. Something in which the almighty being might use to recycle for ones gain. The type of blessing disguised as a curse. It could be both mental therapy and mental torture. It is simply something intricately romantic. To be lost in a desert at night.

And so I was lost in a desert at night.

I was only seventeen at the time. I had found myself caught in an act of secret rebellion: to run away to Vegas with my acquaintance Herb.

Herb is very good. By good I mean not in the sense of morals and obligations but I mean more to describe his skills in conning to be of great excellence. By just three weeks of knowing him, he had convinced me that thunderstorms produce a healing rain, that there is no such thing as night, and that he, was, in fact, a very morally kind and generous person.

Broken, alone, and scared I stood in the middle of the night desert, torn with the absence of light. Not so much fear with the dark, but with the fear of a human possessing the ability to look me deep in the eye and tell me there is no such thing as night. I was also quite frightened with myself. Was I really as dumb as such? Could I actually believe in the non-existence of night? Or had I actually believed in it all along, knowing there was one within me. As light is incapable had I just dreaded the thought of it so that I could change the composition of my common-sense beliefs.

Head on the ground. Looking forward. Blackout.

FLASHBACK:
I inhale the fragrance of roast turkey, green beans, and a medley of various other holiday dishes. I am at my Uncle Fungussus holiday polka potluck party.

I hold my plate which is bending under the intense weight of Lima beans in the corner of the room, avoiding any social contact with my relatives. Out of all the holiday dishes, my great grandmother's Lima beans have always been my favorite. I begin to politely shovel them into my mouth. I begin to get lost in my thoughts.

"So if someone's leg is cut off," I say to myself silently, "will they feel pain? The pain would be in their leg, but their leg is now gone."

I smile proudly at myself, I have always been a bright student. It is no wonder that I can come up with such philosophical questions and other people can't.

Being halfway through my plate of Lima beans, I accidentally forget to chew thoroughly and begin to choke violently. I am forced to run outside and regurgitate food. As I regurgitate the wonderful Lima beans, I notice a large semi truck parked on the road.

I walk back inside where I now hear the polka music playing. I walk into the main room and I see my aunt iti, uncle korhort, cousin Tim tom, and my uncle fungussus, all dancing to their hearts delight. Awkwardly, I sit down quickly on the mantle place. I look around at my surroundings and realize that my uncle fungussus is walking towards me. I have always felt closer to uncle fungussus than my other relatives. But I am hesitant to tell him about the war in my mind. I try to hunker down and hide, but realize it is no use, so I just stand back up and talk to him.

"Hello Helen" uncle fungussus said.
"I'm not Helen, uncle fungussus, I'm Tammy."
"Oh tammy" said uncle fungussus.
"Yes, uncle fungussus"
"So what are your plans after this party, Tammy?"
"To run away to vegas with my friend herb, uncle fungussus"

I almost regretted telling him my secret, but then I remembered all of the secrets  had told me that our family didn't know. And then I felt better.

There was a silence for a while as he eyed me questionably. He squinted and looked at me long and hard. His expression was serious, almost to the point where he didn't look like an uncle fungussus anymore. He looked normal. The ambience was solemn as he opened his mouth

"Try hard not to get into trouble."