I Am

Introduction

Introduction

This is my third attempt to finish, writing my second book. The truth, I had finished it twice but deleted it. Why? The first time I wrote it, it was lacking in content though I had reached fifteen thousand words. It was unrealistic or trying to be too relevant. The second time I had written it, it had two much in content. It was too idealistic and preachy. There was much going on, it was too wide of a scope.

My usual problem when I am writing is the goal of book. What is it trying to point out? Is it still going to be real or idealistic? Is it going to be true and open or is it going to be hidden and guarded?

A lot of ideas playing in my head. I was thinking a fairytale or fantasy. But a lot of times, I wanted to keep it real. How real can it be? How true can I be? I really don't want to be subjective but it is much harder to stay objective since it comes from a personal experience.

My goal is to reach out to people. To be real as possible and not get pressured by the norm of society dictates or religious organization. I am not making it sound like rebelling without a cause but rather be the person I am meant to be. Be me, be you, be real, be happy, be comfortable without the pressure.

The usual norm, finish highschool at seventeen, enter college and finish at twenty one, get a job after college, stay in one company for the next five to ten years, meet your future husband in that job get married at age before I reach thirty and have kids even before I reach the age of forty.

For others it did happen that way, expectations were met but not the rest of us. Life has it's way of giving us detours. How? When we made wrong chooses and we listening to wrong advises. But we can't go back and change all those things especially when you're already in your forties.

I am being bombarded with pressures. You're forty one, and yet you're still not married, you don't have a stable job. Your source of income can't even buy you a car or house of your own. You don't even go out in dates. What is your plan? What are going to do? You're not getting younger.

I just shrug it off and don't say anything.

Of course if you ask my mom. She will say, “She is doing fine. She plans to be a Pastor in her Church community." That's what she told my brother when he had asked about me.

Huh? What? Me? A Pastor? Seriously? I don't have that kind of plan. But because I spend so much time studying the word of God and ministering to people whenever and wherever I can, my mom presumed I plan to be a Pastor. That made me laugh and the same time worried and pressured.

Why am I not married? It was a choice. Until, I have not fulfill my dreams I will not be married. What is my dream? My dreams had change in course of time.

I will tell you if you keep reading the next pages. I like to share some other things. I will tell you about the calling of my life or my purpose in life,  reaction to life, reaction to people, living life, being free and among other things. I hope and pray this will help you realize who you really are.