Iron Fists and Glass Hearts

Calls to a Deadbeat

"The number you called has been disconnected"

You promised I could always call you

But now I get voicemail every damn time

"The number you've called has been disconnected"

Disconnected from me, from everyone

You left when all I wanted was to be heard

When all I wanted was to speak

But you can't hear me

And I can't speak

My voice is dead to you

Your ears have gone numb

So next time you meet a little girl who just wanted a family

Wanted a home

Wanted a friend

Tell her she will want you more after you leave

Want to cry

Want to sob

But nobody will be there to listen to her

Tell her you've gone deaf to her cries

To her needs

To her wishes

Tell her you've gone deaf to everything she'd ever told you

"The number you've called has been disconnected"

The number I called everyday for months

Perhaps I talked your ears off your head

Perhaps you think I'm better off in another world

With another family

Another life

"The number you've called has been disconnected"

You said you were my family, my blood

And yet you sit on the other line mute, declining me

You said you would take care of me

When all you did was leave

Tell the next girl you'll leave her stranded

Tell the next girl you'll leave her to rot

Tell her she rotted more because you "helped" her

Tell her she'll never recover

Tell her she'll always think of you

No matter how much she hates what you did

But I'll tell her she's something without you

I'll tell her she didn't need you to begin with

I'll tell her she is strong

That she is beautiful

She is independant.

She is worthy of love from anyone she chooses

She wasn't and isn't defined by you

And never will be

"The number you called has been disconnected"

But I don't need to call it anymore

Because I don't need you to define my actions

I don't need your love to love myself

Or anyone else

"The number you called has been disconnected"

You are deaf on the other end of my call

And from now on I will be deaf to your deafness

Silence hurts

But I am strong enough to handle it

I am brave enough to handle it

I am okay

I am okay

I am okay

Maybe I am not okay

But that's okay

Because you made me okay

And maybe it feels better to feel worse

If I don't have to feel okay with you.

Because being okay with you

Is being broken inside

And it took until now to realize that you loved the shattered glass

Not the shadow it was meant to be.

Goodbye.

And good luck with the next one