outcast

chapter 1

We will kill you. We are in your brain. You cant hide from us. We are everywhere. We are your thoughts. You will never overcome us.
I woke up in a sweat. These nightmares were getting worse. They haunted me every night. I couldnt escape them.
People wonder why i struggle with depression. You have a perfect life. They say. And i couldnt agree more. And yet im sad.
These demons that haunt me. They corner me and trap me. With every word they say i cut deeper. With every lie they spill i sink deeper and deeper into this pit i cannot get out of.
And yet i stay strong. Maybe its for my family. I dont want to see them hurt, so i hide my pain. Maybe its for my friends. Im scared they will judge me if they knew who i really was. Maybe its for myself. Maybe im telling myself if i ignore them long enough they will go away.
And they dont. They keep spreading. More keep coming. They fill my brain like bugs, infesting every corner of my soul.
I get up out of bed and checked the time. 6:30. Might as well get up since i wont be able to fall back asleep. I thought to myself, stifling a yawn. I past by my little foster sisters bedroom and heard her open the door.
I knew she was following me, but i ignored her. I didnt want to have to deal with her. She was the cause of so many of my demons. She was a demon in my eyes.
Her screaming fits brought tension into our already crazy family and all my parents attention was on her every day all day.
They didnt care about me. At least they didnt show they cared.
And Lauren, my older sister, made it worse. She adored the kids, every single one of them. Her happy mood could never be deflated. She was the most popular girl in school. She had a gorgeous boyfriend and everything about her was pretty.
And then there was me. My brown hair was dyed purple and i constantly drew on my arms to cover my scars. I wore band-tees and large sweatshirts and skinny jeans. My boots were the only shoes i ever wore and i wore two rings on my hands. One was a gold dream catcher and the other was a silver cross.
I went to a school called halk high wich was a very large public school. I felt really alone there. The only other emos like me were really into drugs and things like that. The majority of the school were preps, although there was a small group of nerds. Thats where i fit in.
I know i dont look like a nerd, but i am. I have all A's and lots of collages have already contacted me even though im only a freshman.
Anyway, back to reality. I sat down at the table and put my earbuds in, turning on lindsey stirling. After breakfast i went upstairs and got dressed into my 21 pilots tee and my riped jeans. I threw on a flannel over my shirt and ran down the stairs and out the door.