March 7th 2012
Hey again. I guess you're curious about what I meant last time. You know, what happened to completely change my view of the world. Well even if you aren't, I'll explain it anyway, for no other reason than I genuinely can't think of anything else to write about. It all started in my second year of high school. I'd just come out of my first serious relationship, and I couldn't have been happier about it. Truth be told, I couldn't stand her. She'd always treat me like I didn't exist while she was around her friends, she always expected me to choose her above my friends, and there were rumours from various very reliable sources that she'd been cheating on me. So I was glad to be rid of her. But that left me with a lot of free time, which meant that I ended up bugging the life out of my friends (both of them!). Eventually they must have got sick of it, because one of them introduced me to this girl he'd been out with.
"She's great." he'd said. "She's really pretty, plus she's a really nice girl too. Her name's Jenny." The first time I'd ever heard her name set something off inside me. That might have been the chicken vindaloo I'd had for dinner though. But I figured that I had nothing to lose, so I agreed to meet up with her. That was the start of the best time of my life. Then what followed was the worst time of my life.
When she broke up with me I'd realised what the main difference was between Jenny and my other ex. I'd truly loved Jenny, so the pain I was feeling was 1000% genuine. My friends had tried to cheer me up, but nothing had worked. All the places I'd used to go and enjoy myself now didn't have the same spark. All the happy memories of those places were the memories of a dead personality. The personality I had once been, but now belonged elsewhere. Now I was emotionally little more than a zombie. I'd tried several different things to change the situation. I'd written Jenny letters; they'd ended up in the bin, unread. I'd tried talking to her; she'd just blank me. There were many occasions where I'd considered taking the easy way out. You know what I'm talking about. But my parents must have seen what I was going through, because there was never anything usable lying around. So in the end I just got on with it. And that's what I've been doing to this day. Just existing, as an empty shell of my former self. So that's it. That's the big story of why I'm such a depressed loner. No exciting twists of fate, just me going through my first heartbreak. So kind of cliché really. Well, I think that's more than enough, so I bid you farewell.
