"The Boy With The Scarlet Letter P"

Counterfeit Love

           How can one fake their love to you? How can one be so heartless?... I hate him, seeing him makes me angry but also comforts me... I want him to suffer emotionally, the disrespect he has for girls is unbelievable, I do not know who he thinks I am but I can assure him that I am not one of them. I will not stick around forever nor will I care forever, I stand aside melancholy as he acts like he does not know me and I act the same, that's what we are doing now isn't it? We are just going to pretend that we do not exist to one another. Oh my oh my, you are so foolish Mr. P, you do not see that I was the only one out of the girls that you chase that actually cared for you?... how could you be so stupid, it is not hard to be faithful to someone. You are fooling your girlfriend, tell her the truth... you are living double lives, I feel empathy for her because she is so blind and misguided by you. Do you think it's alright?  Alright to walk around grabbing and gripping every female, do you think they care for you? Cause I assure you that they do not. In fact they don't like you, they can't stand you, you are "pushy", you  are  "annoying" to them, there are so many unpleasant names  that they have used to describe you but all you see is face and body from them, you don't see anything else, all you are trying to do is  'bone '... they hate your guts, I hate your guts. You give me a headache, I hate how you walk around going about your daily life cheating on your current girlfriend . I feel so bad... so bad for HER, she does not know, she does not hear. You are a disappointment, I bet you have no feelings for her whatsoever you just don't want to experience being alone..(you never do)... it is not that bad I assure you... it is less pain to worry about and less worrying when you are alone. You need to focus, on yourself, you are not a good person. I do not care about the anger issues that people say you have, you still don't scare me... I do not care about the rumors about you hitting girls, cause you won't dare on me. I am not afraid of you, no one should be. You need to respect yourself, and respect others... I see you in the corner of my eyes staring at me day to day trying to catch my attention at times, you try so hard to make me jealous, to make me upset and to look at you, it's not working... not anymore. I remember years ago  when I cut it off finally with you, I received unknown calls subsequent to the day after... I never payed any attention to it but now I realized that it was you because when I picked up you never said anything, I guess you just wanted to hear the sound of my voice, the voice of someone moving on. I always come to the realization of things after having a long time to think about it. There are so many realizations in my life that I have brought to a conclusion, no one is there for me, no one loves me. But that's alright, like they say "everyone has someone saved for them" I think it does not apply to some people (such as me) but it could be possible. As I sit on my throne waiting for my king to approach me... I say that figuratively, (I do not consider myself a queen but my therapist says that self confidence is something I need so why not.) I'm in need of someone I can relate to on a mental level, I need someone just like me, someone exotic, someone African....African men have their qualities, so many are cheaters but that is not because they are African, it is because they are men... men find better 'opportunities' and better 'offers' because men are always going to be men. Regardless, I need someone that is nothing like HIM (Mr. P)... he cannot be the one, he is NOT
the one. I impatiently await for my significant other, as Mr. P blows through so many women that are someone else's significant other. I can't wait for what wonders awaits me tomorrow as I have to see YOU another day of the week. Farewell for now, but I'lI return.