Warriors OC Ratings

Example Review

Name: Sheepfur

Raven - A unique and rather eye-catching name. It makes sense because WindClan lives near a farm. I like that you chose a common suffix for your cat and that it fits her appearance.

Quinn - Sheep- is an adorable prefix! This name is also rather fitting, considering her appearance.

Gender/sex: she-cat

Raven - Take note that many Warriors OCs are she-cats, but I don't mind, as long as you avoid making her a mary-sue.

Quinn - Cool, cool.

Sexuality: Straight

Raven - Very common, both in the real world and warriors OCs, but I have no objections.

Quinn - Like Raven said: very common, but 99.99999...% of every canon cat is straight.

Clan/Tribe: WindClan

Raven - WindClan is a really cool Clan that is often overlooked. I'm glad it wasn't ThunderClan or RiverClan (the top choices for Clan, I see) Again, it makes her name make more sense.

Quinn - Ayyyeee! What's up in my favorite Clan? :D

Rank: Queen

Raven - Queen is an extremely overlooked rank. I suppose many people think it's a boring, easy rank. You get prey practically handed to you and you don't have to hunt or fight. But raising kits is hard.

Quinn - Wow, a queen? It's pretty rare to see someone start their OC as a queen at the beginning of their story. Hats off to you.

Appearance: Tall she-cat with thick off-white fur that looks like sheep's wool and a short, fluffy, tufted tail (blue eyes)

Raven - This is fine for a standard Clan description, but lacking for a detailed character description. Add extra details. What makes this cat unique? What color is her nose and paw pads?

Quinn - I like the tail; that's a definite keep. However, this is a rather simple description. For cats with solid-color coats, I would actually recommend something extra on top of Sheepfur's tail and fur texture. Does Sheepfur have any scars? Is she farsighted/nearsighted? Does she walk with a limp? There are traits about a character's appearance that can be easily perceived, especially if it isn't considered "normal." On a completely random side note, solid white cats, especially those with blue eyes, are more likely to be deaf than any other "breed." (Glad to see you're familiar with this!)

Personality: Kind, motherly, strict.

Raven - This personality is dull and lacking. It does nothing to make this cat unique or stand out from others. Readers of any fanficton this cat is featured in won't want to read about a cat with this personality. It is rather typical for a queen, but may work for a rarely-appearing background character.

Quinn - No flaws? None whatsoever? Also, I don't think I can get a good feel for Sheepfur's personality from three words alone. Unlike what Raven said, however, I think that this is fine for a preliminary background character that isn't seen often, but Sheepfur would definitely need more work if she was to be the star of the show. I would personally recommend working on her fears. While it seems like such an odd thing to worry about, the darker thoughts that lurk in the back of a character's mind can really drive them sometimes. Is Sheepfur worried that her kits might get hurt in battle - and does this make her a fretter? Or is she a bit of a glutton and feels guilty about eating more than she feels is her fair share, or would she feel anxious about someone calling her out on it?

Backstory: Sheepfur was a loyal, eager WindClan cat from the beginning. Her mother was a loving but ambitious queen, traits would later share as a queen herself. Her father, the deputy, was busy and didn't often have time to visit her. She enjoyed the company of her siblings and shared a close bond with all of them. Though her brother was deaf, he had keen eyesight and was highly perceptive, able to easily read body language. Even as a young apprentice, Sheepfur wanted kits. As a young warrior, she fell in love with a tom named Breezerunner, the 'bad boy' of the clan who was often in trouble and quite the flirt. She fell to his charms and they had their first litter. Deadkit was thought to be a stillborn, but with the medicine cat noticed a faint heartbeat and managed to save the kit.

Raven - This backstory is honestly kind of boring. I want more. I want to know this cat's struggles, what drives them to do what they do. I like that Breezerunner wasn't just a typical nice tom, but bad boy is not much more original. My favorite part of the backstory is Deadkit's story.

Quinn - I love the sidenote about Whitepond, and I definitely like the reason behind Deadkit's name. It's almost like an inspiration: I survived against impossible odds! However, I'm not sure I see Snowpelt's ambitious nature in her daughter. Sheepfur may strive to raise the best warriors in the clan, but when compared to other ambitions (especially the more selfish/cruel ones), it seems rather mundane. I actually enjoy the simple backstory - not everything needs to be tragic or dramatic - but it does feel a little... bland. Did nothing happen during her kithood or apprenticeship? Did Sheeppaw/fur get along well with her mentor?

Ambitions: To raise her kits to be the best warriors in the Clan.

Raven - It makes sense, especially since you say her mother was a loving but ambitious queen, but it's not a very original ambition.

Quinn - What Raven said (again), but is that all? Surely she has other ambitions too; a cat can have more than one. Does she want to be the best warrior that she can be? Does she want to better her skills as a hunter? Does she have a short temper that she would someday like to be able to properly control?

Relatives:

Mother: Snowpelt - white she-cat (blue eyes)

Father: Gorseclaw - tall brown tom with thick, messy fur (yellow eyes)

Brother: Whitepond - muscular white tom, deaf (blue eyes)

Sister: Moorheart - pale brown she-cat with darker dapples (green eyes)

Raven - They are fine names. I like that a white cat with blue eyes is actually deaf for once.

Quinn - Nice family, but are they alive? Dead? Off running around the wilderness with random loners? And like Raven said, I applaud your knowledge of cat genetics. However, I'm very interested to know how Whitepond survived long enough to become a warrior. We've seen many cats who could work around being blind, but deaf? I think that the dynamic between the siblings could be something on which to elaborate in the story.

Crush/Mate: Sheepfur is mates with Breezerunner - light grey tom with darker and white patches (ice blue eyes)

Raven - Ice blue eyes are a bit cliche, but work well here. I'm a sucker for cool character designs like this, but remember that ice blue eyes are a mutation in cats and not very common. Since your cat is gray, another eye color may work just as well.

Quinn - I'm a sucker for grayscale cats, regardless of their eye color. While I wouldn't necessarily give Breezerunner "ice blue" eyes, I think that any color would work well with him. Also, his name is cool. Kind of reminds me of Runningwind.

Kits:

Snowkit - tall white she-cat with a thick pelt, deaf (blue eyes)

Galekit - brown tom with darker patches (yellow eyes)

Deadkit - pale brown tom with white patches (amber eyes)

Raven - Another white cat with blue eyes that's deaf! I admire the fact that you attempted to make your cat and their relatives genetically correct.

Quinn - Hooray for genetics! (Take two.) I like that two of the kits take after their grandfather, Gorseclaw. I'm also curious to know if Snowkit is named after her grandmother. :3

Final Grade:

*drum roll*

C

With her bland backstory and lacking personality, Sheepfur needs a lot more work, especially if she were to be a main character in a fanficton or have an important role in a role-play, however, we like the effort you put into making your OC's and their relatives' appearances genetically correct.