My Part Time Love (Completed)

Sweet Surrender ( MPTL Restricted )

" Because I want you....I've always wanted you...only you. And I know you want me too..."

That's just it. He never mentioned about love. Just like before. He just wanted me. After all those years, I'm sure isa lang ako sa mga babaeng sinabihan niya nito. Pero sinabi niya na "I've always wanted you....only you." What does that mean? I was thrilled, knowing that it was only me that he wanted all these years. No one else.

Totoo kaya yun? Hindi siya nagkaroon ng ibang babae? Kung babalikan ko ang naging buhay ko, noong mga panahong nagkahiwalay kami, I never had relationship with anyone. At iyon ay dahil mahal ko pa rin si Hans. Oo, mahal ko pa rin siya. At wala akong minahal na iba gaya ng pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Pero hanggang doon na lang yun. It doesn't mean that we have to be together. Especially sa case namin, it's a one way traffic. Ako lang ang nagmamahal sa kanya. At matagal ko nang tinaggap yun. Na hanggang doon na lang kami.

Mahirap kalimutan ang gaya ni Hans Saavedra. He's my first boyfriend. He is my first love...and first lover. At hindi lang siya mahirap kalimutan, baka hindi ko na nga siya makakalimutan pa. He's always been part of my life. It's because of Johann. He's the father of my son. He's always been a part of me.

For months, simula nung umalis ako sa condo niya, walang gabi na hindi ko siya naiisip. All those nights that we shared, halos mabaliw ako. Iisipin ko lang may iba siyang kasamang babae at hindi ako yun. Sobrang sakit. At nakakatulog na lang ako sa sobrang pagod, sa pag iisip at sa pag iyak. Hanggang sa mapagod siguro ako at kusang sumuko ang katawan ko. But not my heart. It only beats for one man. My heart only beats for Hans. Until now.

At ngayon, Bumabalik ang lahat ng nararamdaman ko. Parang kailan lang. Pero hindi ang sakit na naramdaman ko noon. Kundi ang tamis ng bawat pagkakataon na magkasama kami.

Ganito ba talaga ang pakiramdam pag mahal mo pa rin ang isang tao? O ganito ang pakiramdam ng mga previous lovers na nagkarron ng mga intimate na relasyon? As intimate as what I and Hans had. We lived together. What do you expect. At hindi ako magpapakaplastic para sabihin ko na hindi ko gusto ang susunod na mangyayari.

Pipigilan ko ba siya? May sapat ba akong lakas para gawin yun? At mapipigilan ko ba siya sa gusto niyang gawin. Not Hans Saavedra, lalo na wala siyang makita na kahit na anong bakas ng pagtanggi mula sa akin.

Itinulak ko siya. Not to stop him, but to catch some air. Will he ever get tired of kissing me? He smiled and made sure that I was ready for him.

Then I felt him moved inside me. As an eager response, I lifted my hips higher. And he held it that way, suspended in mid air. I can't move kasi medyo masikip ang couch. And I think I don't have to because he'll know what to do. He thrust carefully at first, baka nag aalangan siya na mahulog kami. And when he can no longer control himself, he lifted one of my foot and hooked it on his shoulder. God, I've never been so aroused in my whole life. Just by looking at him on top of me, my one leg on his shoulder and my other leg is wrapped on his waist.

Our moans and pleas filled the room. Fearless. Whether someone might hear us, we care less. With each thrust he made, I even long for more. He never changed. He knows how fast he should move, how deep he would thrust. He knows my body well. And all can do is grind my hips with him and moan...and call his name, begging for more.

He maintains an eye contact as he moves. When he would close his eyes, I know his soft moans will follow. It's priceless. Seeing him like that. Hair dishelved. Lips partly opened. And I love the way his muscle jaw flexed as he was trying to control his cries and groans. But he just couldn't. And I always have this secret smile on my lips when I see him like that. He can make me scream in bed but I can also make him lose himself.

I know that look. And that pace of the way he thrust his full length inside me, rubbing me to ecstacy. His fingers dug hard on my hips as he trusts his way in and out of me. I want to hold his face but I'd rather have my hands held tight on both edge of the couch. I know what's coming.