His Oreo Princesa

{8} The Quads Kitchen Disaster

~Summer-Storm~

After school that day, which went by pretty smoothly.

Kayden and I only argued twice.

Give us an award.

We argued once during lunch and once during art, when I yelled at him for poking me in the eye. He just smirked and said it was payback for yesterday.

When we got home, there was a note on the fridge from our parents saying they had gone out of town to visit our Aunt Helga.

Ugh, Aunt Helga.

She's a bloody bitch. She my mum's older sister. My mum has a younger sister, Aunt Ruby, who is much nicer than Helga.

Mamá and papá know that my brother's and I hate Aunt Helga, so they didn't take us. The only time we have to go is when it's completely compulsory.

Instead of hanging out here like he normally does, Kayden decided to go home and spend some time with his mum.

His dad walked out on him after-

Uh, nevermind.

Anyway, let's read the whole note, shall we?

Quads,

Your father and I have gone to visit Aunt Helga for the weekend. I bet you're all very glad about the fact that we didn't take you.

Anyway, there's money on the counter for food.

And dinner, I don't care what you do, just don't burn the house down.

We love you. Take care.

Mom,

PS: I know I already said this, but I'm saying it again.
Don't burn the house down.

Why is mamá telling us to not burn the house down?

Well, you see, my brothers and I are good at a lot of things.

But cooking is not one of them.

We can't cook to save our lives.

Let me tell you about some of our previous cooking fails.

Once, when we were fifteen, and it was papá's birthday, we decided to bake a rainbow cake. Reese thought it would be a good idea not to use a recipe, so we didn't. By the time we finished making the batter, it was all brownish-green with gunks of whatever the hell we put in it. Ignoring the looks, we put it in the oven. When we took it out, it looked moldy. We covered it with chocolate icing so no one would see the end product. When papá took a slice and blindly ate it, he had food poisoning for a week.

Or, this other time, it was our parents' anniversary, so we got up at four in the morning to make them breakfast in bed. Yes, four. Our parents usually wake up at six so we had to make breakfast before they woke up. Nate was on eggs duty, Reese was on bacon duty, while Cole and I were on pancake duty.

Let's start with the eggs, shall we? Nate was supposed to make scrambled eggs. And he thought that you were supposed to use vegetable oil and not milk, while also forgetting all the other ingredients. Then it was time for the scrambling part. He thought that if you just throw the egg in the air and catch it in the frying pan again, it would magically scramble. But that wasn't the case. First of all, he didn't whisk the eggs before his put it in the pan. No, he cracked all the eggs in the pan, making one giant egg, then poured the water al, over it, making said water sizzle then evaporate into thin air. And when he tossed the mutant egg in the air, it got stuck to the ceiling, later falling on Reese's head when he walked past.

Let's move on to the bacon. Like I said before, Reese was in charge of bacon. Instead of putting a few drops of oil in the pan, he poured the whole bottle in. Then he put all the strips of bacon in. The thing blew up and the thing caught on fire. Instead of using the fire extinguisher like any normal person would have, we threw it outside in the backyard, right into the pool, which startled all the birds surrounding it.

And now, the pancakes. So we didn't have pancake mix in our house since mamá usually like to cook from scratch. So Cole and I had to make the pancakes from scratch. We put a whole box of baking powder in, thinking it was flour. I also wanted to make them rainbow, so we tried to do that cool rainbow swirl you see on Google. It looked like puke. And when we tried to cook them, it linked back to the baking soda incident. The whole thing expanded then exploded. Thankfully it didn't catch on fire like the bacon.

And by the time all of that happened, it was six. So imagine our parents face when they walked into a kitchen covered in eggs, bacon and vomit-like pancake batter.

We were grounded for a month.

But, Nate, Cole, Reese and I will never learn, seeing as we decided to make lasagna for dinner.

*~*

"How do you crack an egg?" Reese questions, staring at the fragile yolk-filled shell in his hand.

"Here, like this," I say, taking the egg from his hand. "You just gently tap the egg on the side of the bowl a few times them separate the halves." I follow my own instructions and perfectly crack the egg.

"Oh, that's easy." Reese nods, taking an egg from the carton. Instead of gently tapping the egg on the side of the bowl, he full on smashes it, making the egg break in his hand, the yolk going everywhere.

I clap sarcastically. "Nice job, bro. That was definitely the way to crack an egg.

"Shut up."

*~*

"HOLY SHIT! SUMMER-STORM, DO SOMETHING!"

"WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO FUCKING SET THE DAMN LASAGNA ON FIRE!"

"NO, YOU DID!"

"NO, YOU DID!"

"OH MY GOD, STORM, COLE, STOP FUCKING ARGUING!"

"SHUT UP, NATE!"

"PLEASE DON'T LET US DIE, KING SUGARY. SEND FOO-FOO CUDDLY POOPS TO SAVE US! TAKE US BACK TO SUNSHINE LANDIA WHERE WE WILL BE SAFE AND NEVER, EVER HAVE TO COOK AGAIN!"

Here we are, an hour later, panicking around the kitchen as our oven sports a fire inside it.

Cole and I arguing about who's fault it it, Nate telling us to stop arguing and Reese praying to his imaginary friends in Sunshine Landia.

None of us having enough brains to remember that our parents stashed 13 fire extinguishers around the house seeing as we're their children.

Just then, a worried looking Kayden bursts into the kitchen.

Once he sees the flames in the oven and turns to us. "You guys seriously tried to cook again?" He raises a brow. "What were you even trying to make?"

Nate scratches the back of his neck and answers him. "Uh, lasagna."

He then look at the mess of eggs on the counter. "You wasted a whole carton of eggs even though lasagna doesn't use eggs?"

Reese glares at me while I just shrug.

"PUT OUT THE DAMN FIRE!" I yell a second later, startling everyone but Kayden, who calmly walks over to one of the cabinets under the sink, pulling out the fire extinguisher and spraying the oven after opening the burning thing.

He drops the extinguisher and looks at us before making one last remark.

"You guys should be on Master Chef."