The Rings

Book 1: Gary

The heart is a fragile instrument, an instrument I didn't know how to play until I met Gary. He was so gentile, so kindly in his demeanor, things one would not be aware of at first glance. This of course is a reason they say "you can't judge a book by its cover", and my book, Gary, was a shark, and that did not change the way I felt about him in the slightest.

I met Gary on a hot May evening. I had been walking along the sand for hours fiddling with the question of mortality. The sun had long vanished beyond the shore line before I noticed the fin that had been following along beside me for hours.

"Hello fin, how are things?" I asked, to which the fin replied,

"Things could be better, and you?"

"Pretty boring actually, but all things considered I guess things are generally ok." I said to the fin.

"What brings you here?" The fin said in just a bored tone as I had conveyed.

"I live here."

"How funny, I live here too. We should go out some time." The fin said still monotone.

"Yes I agree, let us do that now." This being the best interaction I've ever had with a shark, I did not want to blow my opportunity.

"Ok, why don't you come over to my place, I'm making salmon tonight."

"That sounds absolutely spectacular." I said evenly, and walked into the water to join my new companion, just as I was about to put my head under I suddenly remembered something.

"Wait!" I said urgently, "I don't know your name."

"Oh of course, I am Gary." The fin said.

"Ok." And I submerged. Seeing Gary fully for the first time took my breath away, but then I realized this was because I cannot breathe underwater. Gary followed me back up to the surface.

"Wow, I didn't know you were one of those shallow bitches who would decide not like me just because of my appearance." Gary said, his voice level.

"Oh no Gary it's not that, I think ugly sharks are the best kind of sharks. I simply cannot breathe underwater."

"Oh is that all? What a laugh." Gary laughed. "Let us do this again some time."

"Yes, let us." I patted Gary on the head, he really was very ugly. I exited the water and started my trek home.

From that day on my life changed entirely for the better. I returned to the beach daily to speak to Gary, which sucked because I live three hours away from the beach and my uncle stole my car, and my TV, and all of my money (but the joke's on him because due to my lack of a job, I do not have any money). But all this aside, I loved every second I spent with Gary. We would talk for hours and he would say the sweetest sentiments like "yes" and "ok" and "yeah ok". And we would laugh and laugh about little quirky things like surfers falling off their boards, and Gary would bite their arms off and then spit them out because humans taste disgusting. Time flew when we were together, all cares left behind, cautions swept away by the salty sea air, and sand too, sand gets fucking everywhere, I mean everywhere, my shower would probably be full of sand if a rabid nest of snakes hadn't taken up residence in my shower, and I hadn't been evicted from my apartment. Oh.

Five months after having met Gary, in a whirlwind of passion, and the regular cold wind of October on the beach, Gary told me he had something to ask me.

"I've been thinking about this for a while," he said, expressionless as usual. Anticipation built inside of me, every bone in my body ached to hear those words, or maybe they just ached from having spent months sleeping on the sand. Smiling, I extended my hand to touch his cold slippery fin.