Part 3

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3

Out of all the relationships I've been in before, I had never been the reason for someone's pain. The look on Deron's face as he stood in my doorway was pure emotional turmoil and I knew instantly it was due to me, but why? All we did was stare at each other for what seemed like forever, before I started the conversation, on a defensive note.

"Hmmm, how did you get in here?" I asked, rolling completely over looking at him.

"The door was open?" He replied sarcastically, pointing at the door.

"So, you just took it upon yourself to come on in? What if you walked in on something you weren't prepared to see?" I replied, just as sarcastically as his last remark.

"Well, I was worried about you, since you stopped answering my texts last night. I just wanted to check and make sure you were ok. I don't know what made me turn the handle, or come in. If you want I can go," he said turning around.

"Damn I ain't saying all that, what the hell?" I sat up on the bed, fully awake now.

He turned around and looked at me like a puppy that was being given back to the pound and couldn't understand what it had done so wrong to be cast away. I could see and feel the hurt that was coming from him and it killed me, but still couldn't understand why. He turned and walked out the doorway and all I could do was think what the hell was happening? He wasn't even my man, yet I was dying inside. He returned in a minute only to again give me the puppy face stare.

"WHAT?" I asked finally.

"What happened last night?"

"My phone died, remember the power outage, no way to charge my phone."

"Oh yea, I thought that might be the problem, but wasn't sure."

"Well that's what happened. So, what's the problem?"

"Come here." He beckoned. I sat still on my bed. I wasn't going over there with him looking the way he did. Shit a bitch ain't stupid. That is if he knew what I did the night before. "Come here!!" He demanded reaching his arm out to me.

D had a coffee with cream complexion, medium build, and was kind of short, maybe 5'6". His face lit up when he smiled and he always smelled so damn good. He and I had been friends forever, but only recently did he step up and tell me he had real feelings for me. I was dating several men, who were saying the same line Deron said. Not one of them had really stepped up and proven to me that they really wanted a relationship, which was what I wanted. So, I told D, if he wanted me he had step it up or stop wasting my time. I had other options.

"Why can't you come over here? Are you afraid to step into my bedroom? If you think I was in here last night with some man, you're wrong," I said looking at him sideways. Well I wasn't!

"Just come here Shan'tell!"

I sucked my teeth, stood up and walked over to him, like a child that was being chastised by their parent. Why did I suddenly feel like I had been caught with my hand in the cookie jar and was about to get my ass whopped!?

As I stood in front of him, I looked up at him slowly.

"Yes?"

"Who was here last night?"

"What? I told you no one! You don't believe me?"

He took my face in his hand and caressed my cheeks. He lifted my head up and leaned down to kiss me. Suddenly I felt so guilty. Here he was kissing me with such passion and last night I was sweating it up with another man. I mean he wasn't my man. We had no commitments to one another, so I did nothing wrong. I had a feeling though, he wanted to be more between us.

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