He slammed his recently finished glass down on the bar, “ ’nother one” he mumbled.
“Rob sweetie, you sure that’s a good idea?” Her voice was hesitant, as was the hand that came to rest on his arm, but he just threw her off, rather more aggressively than he intended, not that he cared. She said something about going back to the room and yet he still didn’t feel any guilt in not going back with her. In fact he didn’t feel anything at all, except the burn of the alcohol as the virulent cocktail slid down his throat. Perhaps it was the anger, perhaps it was the hurt, he didn’t know, there was such a fine line between the two.
He ignored the look from the barman as he signalled for another, he was sure he was in a state, but he didn’t care, he was drinking to remember, he was drinking to forget, he was drinking to feel, he was drinking to be void of all emotions. Thoughts were swimming round his head, half processed images of Gary, of conversations, of memories, he tried to make sense of it all, but the effort made him dizzy. Was Gary even thinking about him? There he was, on the other side of the world, lying on some beach soaking in the sun and sea and sand, whilst Robbie was here drowning in his own misery. He doubted he’d even crossed his mind since Gary stepped off that plane. A tiny voice deep inside reminded him he was being stupid, that Gary did feel the same way about him and there was some perfectly reasonable explanation, like the fact he was with his family, he was probably preoccupied by the kids or something, yet he suppressed what was left of that voice of reason, love had no place for rationality. He stumbled off the stool and across the bar, he needed fresh air.
The cool rush he expected when he opened the door never came, instead the air was clingy and muggy and as nauseating as in the busy bar. He slumped down against the wall, ignoring the strange looks from the people passing by. His phone began to vibrate in his pocket and with some difficulty he managed to pull it out. Squinting his eyes, he managed to decipher the blurry name. Gary. His head began to swim again, he carefully and deliberately pressed the ignore button. Yet before he had time to regret what he had just done, he turned his head to the side and vomited furiously in a flowerbed.
