Alex's POV
My sister and parents funeral went by in a blue. People were talking to me but I couldn't comprehend what they were saying. Everything just felt so weird, I felt out of place.
I felt like I couldn't breathe.
Jeri sat on her wheelchair while I stood next to her. On my right was my sister and parents coffins because they had a joint funeral. It was just Jeri and I facing the world on our own and it was so incredibly hard.
*
I stared as they lowered them into the ground. Away from the world, away from Jeri and I. They were gone and this time it all felt real.
It began pouring rain as we slowly went back into our cars. Kelley drove Jeri and I to Jeri's condo, neither of us wanted to go to the house we grew up in but we had to at one point but not now. We couldn't do it.
I helped Jeri into her house and up to her room. Kelley and I got her settled into her bed before Kelley went to take a shower.
Everything around me felt dead. Nothing felt right. I was missing a part of me and I didn't feel whole. It was a strange feeling, a feeling I couldn't describe. A feeling that made me question who I was and what I was still doing on this Earth.
I sat in Jeri's guest room not knowing what to do. Not knowing what to think. Then there was a knock on the door.
The door opened and Kelley walked in, closing the door behind me. She came in with a bottle of tequila and two glasses.
"I'm sure you could use a drink." She says as she pours both of us half a glass.
She hands me the glass and we both chugged it down. I chugged one glass after another and not even Kelley stopped me.
None of this would do me any good, drinking won't take my pain away but it was definitely needed. But I still couldn't breathe.
It was like I was drowning and no one was around to save me and pull me up to the surface.
By the time night rolled around, I was extremely dizzy. The room I was in spun around and I couldn't even stand up to walk.
I had a terrible headache that wouldn't go away. I took some ibuprofen with a glass of water and sat on my bed. Then, the door opened again and I saw Kelley appear in the door way.
"Hey you." She says as she sits on my bed. "You finished the entire bottle?" She asked. I wasn't even aware that she left the room when I kept drinking.
I slowly nodded my head. I studied Kelley's features and let out a miserable sigh.
"Are you okay?" Kelley asks as she lays a hand on my shoulder.
"Yeahhh." I begin to slur. I felt like falling into my bed but I forced myself to sit up straight.
"Let's get you to bed." Kelley suggests. She helps get me tucked in and the entire time I just stared at her without saying a word.
"You have to get some rest, Alex. You need it." Kelley says as she sits on the edge of the bed.
"Why is this happening to me?" I whisper as I feel tears beginning to roll down my cheek.
"I wish I could answer that."
*
The next morning, I woke up with a pounding headache. I slowly sat up in bed, the room spun for a few seconds before my vision cleared up.
As I slowly got out of bed, I saw an empty bottle of tequila on the ground.
I probably got drunk last night and I didn't even realize it.
I quickly slipped on some sweats and a t-shirt before heading into the kitchen where Jeri and Kelley were sitting at the kitchen table.
Jeri had a stone cold expression on her face. She didn't move, all she did was stare. Kelley looked up when she saw me and gave me a sad smile.
"Did you sleep well last night?" She asked me.
I just shrug my shoulders, unable to remember what happened last night. I stand in the kitchen feeling tears beginning to form in my eyes.
"I miss them..." I say with tears rolling down my cheek. I choked on my words as I collapsed to the ground.
"I got her." I hear Jeri say. She uses her wheelchair and wheels herself towards me. And by herself, she gets off the chair and wraps her arms around me.
"I know, Alex. I know."
***
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