A Funny Kidnapping

Tough Crowd

     Hi, My name is Ben Edwards and I'm in big trouble. I have little time to explain but basically I'm a comedian,  do gigs every Saturday night, not much cash, just a normal comedian doing his thing, cracking jokes. Now I wouldn't say I was a troubled, I just thought I was pretty fricken hilarious. The teacher told a student to go do a problem on the board and then he couldn't figure it out so he says to the teacher," it's to hard." So I yell across the room," that's what she said!" Then she yelled at me, "Get Out," and pointed at the door and right before I walked through the door I turned around and blurt, "She also said that." The whole classroom died in laughter so you know I was was awesome. I may or may not have got suspended. Oh yeah I'm getting off track. I'm from Idaho but moved to LA to pursue comedy. I didn't have a big home, I lived in an apartment by myself. I visit  my parents once every month. Oh yeah and by the way I'm 31 soon to be 32. So basically I'm going to have the worse birthday party ever if I don't get out of this. Oh crap I supposed to tell you what happened. I tend to do that a lot. So I tend to get 20 people and make about $200 per gig. But then today it all went wrong. A guy who tends to be at all my gigs shows is the only person there. Sense I thought he was just a loyal fan I come up to him and talk to him. Then something happened. He reached for his pocket with lightning speed and next thing I know I'm knocked out. So know I'm here now with a guard behind me waiting for my comedian trials or something like that. Oh god the guards are making me move! Ok so there's a big throne with a dude in it and a bunch of people who look to be in a trance. Oh but if that's not weird enough there all telling jokes. I'm on a red and white carpet. Tons of chandeliers. Gold walls with silver markings. High dome ceiling. It seems to be dark out because you can't see anything through the glass. My guard tho is my biggest concern he's at least 9 feet tall with pipes. And when I say pipes I mean as round as two of my heads. I made a mental note not to make a run for it because he can probably step on me. Ok now I'm not the type of person to get scared and nervous about stuff but seriously I'm scared... bad. Keep calm it's all just a dream, I told myself. "Well you don't dream with all five senses,"I blurted. Crap did I say that out loud. Yep I did the guard is looking at me funny. "Next," the man in the throne yelled. "Move," said the guard. Oh boy  I think this is me. Well here goes nothing. The guard directed me towards the throne. I felt scared so don't so I don't feel bad for this bow that I just attempted. I felt like my head was going to explode from nervousness. Is that even possible? "Do you know why you are here young comedian," said the man in the throne. "No," I replied. "Do you even know who I am," the man boomed. "A big scary dude," I thought but I just replied with,"No sir". "I am The Lord of All Jokers, god of comedy, I am Sir Joculator the Third". "And I am Ben Edwards a poor comedian who lives in LA," I yelled. "And what does joculator mean"? "Why it is Latin for many things like joker, jester, funster, and hoaxer," he replied. "But let's get to the point if you do not know why you are here you are because you have failed your duties as a comedian. Each comedian has his or her own joke-o-meter and yours have hit 0%. All who this happen to means that there jokes have gone um let's just put it as stale. You must face trials of extreme impossibility or become my joking slave like these wandering soles," he said pointing at a dude."And if you fail the trails you will die and perish like others. So what do you choose my slave or extreme trails". "Now hold up one second man. What the hell is going on. I was just getting ready for a gig then this dude knocked me out man. I don't know why I'm here and what I supposed to be doing so give me a second". "Now," the man boomed. "Slave or trials pick one or die now". "Fine bro I don't want to be your servant so I'm gonna do me some trails. Is that ok so what do I got to do"? "Since you picked trails I will tell you this, there are three main factors to comedy, audiences, the jokes, and the face to face comedy. Seek the audiences piece in the the place where all jokes can be reversed, the jokes where all jokes are told, and come back when you have them ones. Your final trail will be held here. When you collect the prices add them to this amulet and when you collect them all which know one has ever done you will be released back into the world where you shall continue with comedy. So let the trials commence!
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That's chapter one for you guys hope you liked it. Comment new story ideas and characters and don't forget to vote. Thx you all for reading! Until next chapter, peace.