A World Without You

What have I done

Sangwoo had not left his bed for the past week. His anxiety and guilt consumed him to the point where it had taken control of his body. The reason Sangwoo had seen nothing but his ceiling for the past half month was his boyfriend, Yoonbum. The previous month, Sangwoo had lost his temper and rampaged through the house, destroying everything he could get his hands on. It was all he could do to keep away from Yoonbum, who had stared in terror from the doorway. Yoonbum had just come home, and seeing Sangwoo in such an infuriated state made his heart ache. He worried for Woo's health, and immediately tried to calm him down.
"Woo! Stop this, what's wrong?" This got no response and the taller man continued to knock over furniture and punch holes in the drywall of their small home."Sangwoo, can you hear me?! Calm down!" Yoonbum desperately tried to stop Sangwoo, fearing that he might hurt himself. In one last attempt to calm his boyfriend, Yoonbum ran forward and grabbed hold of Sangwoo's arm, attempting to pull him back.
Sangwoo turned to face Yoonbum, still clutching his bicep, and slapped him hard across the face. Yoonbum released Sangwoo's arm and fell to the floor, tears starting to well up in his eyes. As Sangwoo viewed what he had done, he seemed to come back to himself, and he stepped backwards, gaping in awe of the red mark across Bum's tear-stained face. He started to step forward toward Yoonbum, but he suddenly cried out,
"No! D-don't touch me, Woo! Stay away!" Sangwoo backed up slowly and could do nothing but watch as his love stood and ran out of the house.Sangwoo had not seen him since and could only assume that Yoonbum was gone forever. He would never be able to forgive himself for hurting Yoonbum, for not being able to control his anger. He had always wanted to protect Bum from people who hurt him, but now he was the one who had hurt him. Oh, the irony, he thought to himself wryly. At first, he had tried to move on. He told himself he didn't need the other man to make him happy. He told himself he didn't deserve a person like Yoonbum anyway. He told himself he was a monster for doing this, just like his father had been. He repaired the holes in the walls, as if that would erase what had happened. He fixed up the house good as new, as though a clean table would bring Bum back. Lately he had stopped caring. After all, what is the point of life if you can't shar it with the one you love? Suddenly, Sangwoo's cellphone rang, breaking his train of thought. He didn't want to talk to anybody right now, but he reflexively rolled over to see who was trying to reach him. As soon as he saw the name flash across the screen he bolted upright, answering in a desperate tone,"Yoonbum?! Bum, are you there?" He didn't hear anything for what seemed like an eternity and then he heard the most beautiful sound in the world. His words were slow and his voice sounded broken, but Sangwoo clung to every word like a lifeline.

"...Woo? I-... I need you. Please, Woo. I need your help." Sangwoo went pale. Yoonbum's voice sounded so scared and weak, Woo's head started racing with all the horrible things that might have happened.
"Of course, Bum. Where are you, I'm coming right now. Hold on, baby." Yoonbum feebly recited the address of a hotel not too far from Sangwoo's neighborhood.Sangwoo didn't think twice. He pocketed his phone and started to sprint as hard as he could to the hotel. He must have looked crazy, but all he cared about in that moment was that with every step, with every pained breath and every tear running down his face, he was getting closer to Yoonbum. By the time Sangwoo reached the hotel, he was openly sobbing, his lungs burning and his heart pounding like crazy. Ignoring the strange looks from the lobby staff, Woo bolted up the stairs to the fourth floor, where he knew Yoonbum was waiting. Reaching Yoonbum's room, he pounded on the door so hard it felt like it might break down.