How Do We Stop Hurting

Chapter 1

"I love you" Gabe whispered.

I looked up at him slowly, tears starting to form in my eyes. "Don't lie to me."

"I love you, I love you, I love you." And no more words were said after that. I reached around the back of his neck and pulled his head closer to mine, and then we were kissing. Passionate as it's ever been.

And then I woke up from my two-hour nap.

The truth is, I'm a heartbroken mess.

Three months ago, I fell in love with someone that I didn't know too well. Someone that would rather sleep around then have a girlfriend. Someone who is afraid of commitment. Someone who decided to pull my heart out of my chest and rip it apart into a million pieces. That someone was Gabe Rimond. And I'm not hurting any less now then I was then. Especially after having these insanely vivid dreams each night, even if they include us having a baby and me rambunctiously getting on a train with him to New York without letting my mom know.

The other truth is I don't truly know why he ended it.

Of course, everyone and their mother want to tell me that he ended it after 3 perfect weeks because I wouldn't let him into my sacred place. This including my roommate, Mandee , along with his roommate.

I guess I truly don't know why, but for some reason I don't agree with that statement. I mean, if he had tried or if we had discussed it, I probably would have been up for it. But, we were different than that. We were the type of "couple" that would help each other stay up to make sure essays were finished. The type of "couple" that would have sleepovers solely for the sake of being able to stay wrapped up around someone you truly care about, to be able to wake up in the morning and be next to someone you were falling in love with. For some reason, I think he really did have feelings for me. But like he said, he isn't good with commitment and he didn't expect to meet someone within the first month of college. So can I really blame him?

Of course I can.

What woke me up from my realistic dream was the incredibly loud and obnoxious yelling of Mandee the monster. Don't get me wrong, I truly love this girl, but not when she is high in the clouds like she seems to be every waking moment.

"C'mon Carter! Come smoke with me, please just come with me."

Mandee knows I don't smoke, but ever since Gabe, it has become an activity of mine.

I never thought I would be like this, but the smoke seems to take away the sadness and replace it with some sort of emptiness. I got up off of our futon that I sleep on each night and gave Mandee and evil stare as I walked out the door to our dorm. As I started walking towards the elevator of the 4th floor, I could hear her quietly clapping and jumping up and down behind me.

Mandee and I began to walk down the street when we found the group of friends that we usually smoke with. This group pretty much just includes 5 of the most obvious stoner kids you have ever seen. And one beautiful boy named Cam, with light blonde curls that went slightly into his eyes. When we made eye contact, my heart fluttered and I looked away shyly. I wish Cam could take away my feelings for Gabe, he was truly much more attractive. But, for some reason, my mind stayed on the same subject all night as it usually does.

Just as I was in my own little world, not thinking about anything around me and sticking to my thoughts. I heard a voice I knew all too well. As I turned my head ever so slightly to the side, I saw Gabe dubbing some of the boys in our group. All of the chatter over our newcomer had stopped, when I looked at Mandee and spit out the words, "How could you do this." I knew it was her that invited him, in fact they were friends before we were a thing.

She looked at me and narrowed her eyes as she said, "Get over it, Carter. It was nothing."

At that I looked up and met Gabe's eyes. At first I could see the regret, something that did absolutely nothing to me. I turned around sharply and just kept walking the opposite way, drowning out the sounds coming from behind me as I just continued to walk on into the darkness of 7 p.m.

* Okay guys, Chapter 1 to my new story. Let me know what you think about it! And give me some thoughts on Gabe so far. Whose side are you on??*